Wednesday, September 7, 2011

September 7th, 2011 - Day 60 of 60

I am going to open up a little bit here and lay bare one of the parts of my personality I wish were different.  First, some background... If you met me at a party or in line at the store or maybe at a bar, you'd probably think I was a decent sort of guy.  I am sure I am not everyone's cup of tea, but in my experience most people seem to like me.  A lot of that is due to the fact that I am what I appear to be.  I don't put on a different mask for people, I just allow myself to be myself.  Yes, there are protocols and decorum, so one should behave a certain way in certain situations, but I am usually myself.  I tend to be a tad too cerebral (that doesn't mean I am smart, it just means I think too much), I use humor (No, I've NEVER said "Pull my finger") as a means of facilitating ease and breaking down walls, but I also use it as a defense mechanism.  I'm cool with that.  I am opinionated and I usually don't suffer foolish arguments.  I will, however, buy you a drink even if your views and mine are at odds, as long as you think your position through and can give it a credible defense.  I believe man is a mental, physical and spiritual creature and needs to nurture all those components.   I genuinely care about people and the world and have tried my best to do my part.  But, I also realize I am one person and I have no desire to be a martyr or hero.  I believe ANYONE can sing and encourage it.  I believe men should dance together (not cheek to cheek, but more like this).  I believe we live in a system that is terribly broken and outdated and in need of replacement.  I believe every person has a song to sing, a story to tell an a unique insight to offer.  As I age I have less patience for foolish distraction.  I enjoy seeing young people having fun.  I tend to be able to see both sides of an argument and don't always feel someone has to be "right".  I think advertising is one of the worst things ever foisted on our society and the profession is one step above pedophile.  No, I don't mean putting out a sign stating you offer a service, I mean making it your mission in life to convince the world their lives are meaningless without your useless crap.  Seriously, you suck.  I don't like professions that feel doing things quickly is better than thinking them through.  I like cats AND dogs equally.  I think animals are an equal creation in the world and we have no right to treat them the way we do.  And, finally, I think I am addicted to Cacao Goji Seed Chunks.

So, the part where I open up a bit... When Halloween rolls around,  I start to get edgy.  It isn't because I worry about my car being egged or the cost of candy (I live in the country so I think I've had three "trick or treaters" in twenty years).  Rather, it means that the next holiday is Thanksgiving, followed by Christmas.  Now, I will quickly say that I have nothing against these holidays.  I find the excessive eating on Thanksgiving to be a bit much, but if it is only one day a year, go for it!  As for Christmas, I despise the commercialization of the holiday and I loathe the rampant consumerism.  But, as a holiday, it has many fond memories and I enjoy it.   But, the thing I don't like about these holidays is the mandatory family gathering.  I just can't take it.  It drives me mad.  It doesn't matter if it is my family or my wife's family.  They are all wonderful people.  Salt of the earth.   It is just that they at are all... so... BORING.  You'd think that in a room of forty or fifty people that someone would have something interesting and stimulating to say.  Not so.  Literally, I want scream and run away.  I don't care who is on "American Idol".  I can't imagine finding the latest gossip from church the least bit interesting.  I don't care about your child's bowel habits.  I guess I am just a bad person or something.  I hate it so much that it is scary.  I know it is my issue, so don't think I am blaming anyone or thinking myself better than anyone.  I know I am the loser here.  My favorite holidays have been the one's where we had our friends over rather than family.  Just spectacular days.  Interesting people with actual thoughts in their heads and a healthy curiosity over how the world works and a mind that turns in the direction of considering what that all means.  And FUNNY.  Shit, my friends are funny.  Family... not so much.  It is sad.

So, my point?  Once I manage to grit my teeth, put on a happy face, tell myself to get over my petty, immature bull and be human to everyone, etc.  I find that I get through it all and the world keeps turning.   I will sit there and smile for a while, knowing that it is now the longest possible stretch of time before I have to do this again.  What a wretched thing to think!  I should be ashamed.  I'm not, but I should be.  But even when I realize I have a long time between "performances", I know it will happen again.  It is one of those things we do because we must.  I feel guilty because I'd rather spend time and holidays with my friends than with my family.  My friends ARE my family.  Then I get into a guilt spiral because I know my family all love me and wish we were closer... blah, blah, blah.

So, here on the last day of my Reboot, I am feeling a bit unfulfilled.  It has been, without a doubt, a spectacular Reboot.  I feel so good that I sometimes can't believe it.  I have yet to get bored with my monotonous diet.  I have more energy, sleep less and just feel like a new person.  So, if all that good stuff is true, why am I being such a "Negative Nelly" here today?  Well, I think it is because I realized, like my holiday obligations, that a Reboot is an ongoing obligation.  I also realized that I need to step up a few things.  The danger of giving things a name and giving them finite time limits is pronounced.  When you name something it becomes some kind of a spectacle.  Instead of thinking, "I think I'll try to eat well and walk around the block every night for a couple months and see how it goes," it now becomes, "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to announce to the assemblage that I will be undertaking a Reboot over the next 60 days!"  Once you do that, expectations are high.  And, when you assign starting and ending dates, each day near the end becomes more and more vital.  Did I do enough?  Should I try harder?  And, when you combine these things, it stops being just a start to a new way of thinking and living; it almost becomes a type of contest.

I do understand the benefit of all the things I just said.  I like goals.  Goals help us see we can make progress in bite-sized, manageable portions.  It gives us focus and a target toward which we can aim.  I do know this.  But the sort of personality I have never lets me just relax there, just like I can't relax in a room filled with my family.  The Reboot is the door to a new world and over the last couple days the full force of that notion struck me.  I wasn't finished, I was just at the end of the first beginning.  Now I am on to the next beginning.  It is "the song that never ends, it just goes on and on my friend..."  Even before this Reboot ended, I started to consider my next steps and the next after that.  That is good, but it is also a bit frightening.  I am happy my mind is thinking in that way, but I am also certain that all my thought on this means it is not easy.  That hardest part is fitting in with everyone else.  I find that so hard.  I don't like sticking out and being a spectacle.  I don't mind being different, but it appears I am always that person who does things differently.  That is something I'll have to work on in my head over the next weeks and months.

My Reboot is over, yet it has just begun.  I don't mind telling you that I am a tad uncertain over what the next weeks hold.  That is odd coming from me, because I am overly-confident in all I do.  I am not uncertain I can do it, I am uncertain over how I'll handle my life.  This really is a change of your life.  No one who is "normal" generally thinks like this.  They eat what is there.  Burger?  Super!  Macaroni Salad?  Yum!  But now I've become "one of those" people.  I don't like the idea of being "one of those people."  I don't want to be a problem, nuisance or "special case".  I don't want to be the guy on the airplane who gets the "Kosher, Vegan, Organic, Fair-Trade, Non-GMO, Cruelty-Free Meal."

I've lost about 15% of my bodyweight on this Reboot.  That isn't much, but I didn't have a lot to lose in the first place.  My next phase will include more rigorous exercise for a few weeks.  And, now that my 60 days are up, I will include cooked vegan food in my diet if I so desire.  At this point it is easier just to stay mainly raw.  I foresee smoothies, raw food and the occasional rice and beans dinner or maybe lentil stew.  Not very thrilling, but it works for me.

You guys have been so amazingly inspiring to me.  I've heard your stories and been so motivated by them.  This community, which has the WORST web page in the world, has the best people in the world.  Everyone rides along on the energy wave of each other.  It is contagious motivation.  It is real people who care about one another.  It is very moving.

I've thought about it for a bit and I've decided it is probably best to end the blog at this point.  I will keep it open in case I decide I have a new insight or decide to do another Reboot, but I honestly think there are so many of you that have wonderfully insightful and motivating things to say that I really won't be adding anything to the conversation.  I've said all I need to say here and that should be enough.  I don't want to be the old guy who keeps repeating the same story over and over.

From the bottom of my heart, I want to thank each and every one of you for the inspiration, motivation and illumination.  You guys are the best of the best.  Don't give up on your Reboots or on each other.  See it through to the end.  Once you've done that, I pray that, like me, you'll be faced, not with a finish line, but a broad expanse.  You'll see that your Reboot was just the start of change.  It was to show yourself that you CAN change anything you desire if you want it badly enough: your eating habits, your health and even your world.

Thanks Joe, Phil and all of you for a transforming 60 days. 

We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do. 

M.K. Gandhi

I am 100% through the 60 days.

Weight: 147.1 lbs.

Food: Banana, Almond Butter, Clementines, Watermelon, Salad, Broccoli Slaw, Cacao Goji Seed Chunks
Breakfast and lunch (minus almond butter)

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

September 6th, 2011 - Day 59 of 60

I'd like to interject a trifling bit of perspective on all the Rebooting that has transpired over the last 59 days.  While this has all been spectacular in so many ways, there are other things occurring outside the verge of my Vita-Mix and beyond the borders of my blog.  As we speak, it just won't stop raining in New York.  There are towns not too far from me that, in essence, do not exist any longer.  In Texas, vast acres of farm land and residential areas are being burned away.  A part of my college town, Oklahoma City, burned and there was no nearby water to quench the flames.  In the horn of Africa there is a severe drought and famine that has displaced almost one million people and has led to the deaths of tens of thousands.  And those are just the headlines new enough that people have yet to grow bored reading them.  I could go on (as I tend to do) but I will not.  All I will say here is that as I near the end I wanted to remind myself and everyone else that Rebooting is a wonderful thing that more should do, but in the cosmic scheme of things it is a low priority.  It isn't just the previously mentioned troubles that I'd like you to bring to mind, but the fact that the endless election season is upon us and we have the chance to change all these foul things we've talked about over these weeks.  In the end, we really do have some kind of choice.  No, I don't think it is enough choice or a level enough playing field, but things can be done.  So, my hope is we invest at least as much time, energy and resources into the upcoming election year (that seems like a century) as we invested into our Reboots.  The juice Reboot is good for us, a national Reboot is good for everyone.

With that, I'll not labor over juice with pulp vs. juice without pulp.  I am certain we can all weigh the pros and cons of that issue and come to a conclusion with which we can all live.

I promise I'll be back to normal (whatever that is) tomorrow.

I am 95% through the 60 days.

Weight: 145.9 lbs.

Food: Watermelon, bananas, almond butter, mixed nuts, apple, cacao goji seed chunks, broccoli slaw
Even a photo of watermelon makes me hungry.

Monday, September 5, 2011

September 5th, 2011 - Day 58 of 60

If yesterday was the most difficult day of this final weekend of my Reboot, today was the most tedious.  It was "Family Holiday Gathering Day": the perfect ending to the weekend.  It is the time when you cram yourself together with too many people (far too many of whom are children) into far too little space while there is too much conversation about far too little of interest for far too long.  Added to the "too" pile was the fact (and when I say "fact", I mean FACT) there was no edible item anywhere to be found.  When I say these words, I know the knee-jerk reaction is to think, "Well, he means there wasn't much to eat or that it didn't taste good."  No.  What I mean is what I said: NOTHING TO EAT FOR ME.  Snack crackers by the truckload, cheese/cheeze by the ton, meats, dips, cooked salads and even booze.  No "food".  It was all so uninspired that I, too, am uninspired.  It is all I can do to manage a few words as stale as the Ritz crackers must have been after sitting out in a bowl all day long.

Not even one fresh salad.  The closest thing to eat was a dip which had tomato, onion, peppers, etc. but also a thick paste of some sort of cheese-like substance.  Happily, I was prepared and there were no dramas or scenes  or endless apologies.  It all worked out and it was all good.  I survived the day and the next time I will likely worry about such things will be Thanksgiving.  I am sure many of you were in the same boat this weekend, so I do feel your pain.

The most intriguing thing was how absolutely unappealing it all was.  I mean, even if I couldn't eat it, could I at least lust over it?  Could I have the small-consolation of fantasizing what I'd do to that main course if I was given the opportunity?  Greasy chicken wings with a thick coating of sugary-smelling sauce, tasteless-looking salads that probably needed the endless sodium to even stimulate a taste bud in much the same way smelling salts attack the olfactory system.  It was all simply foul and disgusting.  Not one plate of raw veggies.  No fruits out there waiting for flies to land on them.  Not even nuts.  Wow.  That, my friends, is astounding.

Now let me be quick to add that I fully understand that I am the weirdo here.  I know everyone else looked and saw "food".  I know I am the odd duck.  But even so, I think this whole situation was spectacularly indicative of what is going on in this world.  Who can afford to feed that many people well?  It is easy to open a bag or container or can and just slurp it into a bowl.   Everyone likes snacks.  They sell well because they appeal to the system.  The salt, sugar, fat, crunch and interesting shapes all woo us.  For whatever reason, it wasn't working for me.  It was like a mule in a bikini:  Dressing it up didn't help.

After this weekend, the next couple days should be a walk in the park.  It is a rough world out there, dear Rebooting friends.  I hope you all were able to weather the storm.  If not, I hope you, at least, had the good sense to choose cannibalism over Doritos(tm).

I am 95% through the 60 days.

Weight: 146.3 lbs.

Food: Clementines, banana, almond butter, raw cacao goji seed chunks, almonds, salad

Sunday, September 4, 2011

September 4th, 2011 - Day 57 of 60

Earlier in the week sprinting legend Usain Bolt of Jamaica was disqualified from his bread and butter (did I say that... must be craving it) event, the 100 meters, due to a false start.  I can't pretend to know what it must be like to be a world-class athlete with so few real events in which to display your prowess.  Really, you've got the World Championships and the Olympics.  So, it is like being a great musician and only getting to play two or three concerts a year and they all mean EVERYTHING.  With normal people, you work at least five days a week, so if you mess up, you shrug your shoulders and you go on.  With someone like Usain Bolt, you can't afford to do that.  You work incessantly all for what... 30 good seconds on the track a year or so?  All the work he put in for so long was out the door because of a misunderstanding of the rules.  Quite hard to take.

When you combine the level of proficiency with the massive training and the psychological stress, these athletes are like taut violin strings ready to snap.  Is it any wonder Bolt had a false start?  His whole life revolves around exploding out of those blocks and running faster than anyone has ever run in the history of our planet for less than ten seconds.  It is amazing beyond words.  All that pent up energy and anticipation and competitive fury.  I am shocked more of them don't false start.  I've seen horses do the same thing in the gates before a race.  They are edgy and just want to run.  Those gates are a foreign place to them, but the open track in full gallop, that is where they are in control and where they are comfortable.

On day 57 of my Reboot I felt like Usain Bolt and those race horses and didn't know what to do with myself.  I am trying so hard to relax because I know I need to do so.  I've worked too hard for too long and I need to understand that relaxation is as much a component of health as the ability to work.  So, after a while I did alright.  I was planning on going to our annual Irish cultural festival, but my grandson wanted to come over and spend the night, so we stayed home instead.   All that pent-up energy was getting me edgy and, truth be told, it still is.  Like a sprinter, I am in the last few strides of my Reboot and I can see the finish line.  Now, the fact that you see the finish line doesn't mean you relax.  Any runner knows that the finish line is just a place through which you continue to run.  Yes, it is a goal of sorts, but it isn't the end.  With my race coming close to the point at which I can slow down, I still feel the burst of energy.  I don't know what that might be.  I think part of it is I am still uncertain of my direction after this ends.  Yes, I know what I want to do in a general sense, but I guess I want something more solid.  Too many distractions and too many choices.  And, if I am honest, I will say that I am uncertain.  That is likely because, unlike the thoroughbred and the sprinter, the race isn't the place in which I am most comfortable.  I have years of training to put in before that occurs.  But I will be fine and once the last day goes by I will know what I will do.  I may do nothing except keep running in the same direction for a bit because it seems like a safe and smart thing to do, just as those sprinters do. 

The good news is that Usain Bolt was able to channel that energy not used in the 100 meters into wins in the 200 meters and a gold medal/world record for the Jamaican team in the 4x100 meter relay.  Even starting falsely can end up in a truly victorious finish.

Finally, I think all my extra energy comes from knowing that my finish line is really just the starting line.  It is almost like being Bill Murray's character in "Groundhog Day" in that when I hit that finish line tape, all I am doing is coming off the blocks again.  That sort of uncertainty can make one's energy churn. Usain Bolt can revel in his victory, but champions are only as good as their next race.  Like a runner on a Möbius strip track: there is no beginning and there is no ending.  All there will be is the race.  Once you can wrap your head around that, it all works out.  Since my early nutritional life was one giant false start, I hope my end will be like Mr. Bolt's and not only afford me redemption and some small victory, but also help wipe away the disappointment, regret and damage from that failure.  Like Mr. Bolt, I plan on giving my best, even when there are false starts and the occasional misstep.  Unlike Mr. Bolt, my biggest race is every day.  Thankfully I am not celebrating with the Jamaican track team, for I would likely succumb to the overpowering wiles of Jerk Chicken.

I am 90% through the 60 days.

Weight: 147.5 lbs.

Food: Banana, Almond Butter, Raw Cacao Goji Seed Chunks, Clementines, Cherries, Watermelon, Almonds
This happy chap is from my garden. (I added the eyes)

Saturday, September 3, 2011

September 3rd, 2011 - Day 56 of 60

A few days ago I read this article and was going to comment on it when I was distracted by other things.  Even after the distance a few days can bring has been inserted into my life, I am still troubled by the article's contents.  If you were to read some of my other writings (AKA "rantings") you'd know I am big on several subjects, one of which is overpopulation.  I love people (in concept) and I am happy when people are happy to have children (as long as they are not kicking my seat at the movies).  But even when everything goes right in our procreation process there are still looming issues that face us all.  I am not going to belabor points that have been made ad nauseum by minds far more gifted than mine.  You and I both know we are in for some rough times ahead if changes are not made and made soon. The depth of that trouble depends on how we react to the myriad issues facing us.

In general, we react to troubles by assuming someone who is really smart is taking care of things and we can all go on with our lives as usual.  That means driving a vehicle that may be too large, costly or gas-consuming than our needs require.  That means a house that may be far larger than we require.  That means living beyond our economic resources.  Etc.  Anyone who only occasionally thinks of these things should take time to watch this video and really try to comprehend the crux of the matter from a purely scientific, mathematical and emotionally-detached perspective.  When we understand the inextricably-bound issues of over-population, energy production, consumption, agriculture, climate change and political turmoil and how their converging ramifications form a synergy that will not be deflected with positive thinking or better campaign slogans, perhaps we'll wake up?  My hope is that we do so before it is too late.  And, really, had we made just a few, minor adjustments in our lives a few short years ago, we could have avoided many of the issues we are now facing.  No one was asking for us to live in shacks and eat gruel and have only one pair of shoes.  A video such as the one here outlines a few of the challenges we face, but also offers a few potential courses of action (sorry that there is a commercial in Dutch beforehand, but there is an English-speaking interview in there).

I am not here to preach to you or convert you to any particular way of thinking.  You are a free moral agent and must decide how your time, energy and resources are allocated.  But I am trying to, at least, make you aware of information I feel is often unreported or, at best, under-reported in the mainstream media, but has been common knowledge in many circles in our world for years.  And, regardless of what you think of my particular point in this post, I hope you will at least read the previous sentence and feel a ring of familiarity.  Meaning, what was your perspective on food, nutrition, medicine and health prior to seeing "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead?"  What has changed in your perspective after being introduced to the doctor who treated Joe Cross, Dr. Joel Fuhrman, and saw how well his methods worked without costly drugs or dangerous procedures?  Did it cause you to seek out other, similar, information, like the new-to-DVD movie, "Forks Over Knives", or "Food Inc." or "Food Matters" or any of dozens of books, videos and web sites that give straight talk on the political, economic and cultural manipulation of food and nutritional information?  If you have sought deeper and more "alternative" perspectives on food, then the information about which I am speaking today will be of little surprise to you. 

Food links all that we do.  We wake up in order to eat.  If we have a family or clan we wake up to ensure that everyone eats, is safe, is well and is as joyful as possible.  That is what we do.  The rest is happy accessories and options. If you had a guaranteed source of nutritious food and a safe, healthy home in which to live, how would that change your life?  What could you do differently?  Well, as housing, property, food and similar items are NOT free and closely controlled, that is a moot point.

You are reading this post because you, somehow, ended up on a web site that helps those who wish to "Reboot" their lives.  At its core, the Reboot is about the choices we make once we have facts.  Once you have that information you must then decide on its veracity and how to live based on what you now know.  You likely know much more about food than you knew in the past, so now you must live in accordance with this new knowledge or choose to ignore it.  These other things about which I am speaking are no different except their ramifications go far beyond your personal health, weight and lifestyle.  This information is like a "Reboot" for our civilization.  

Do with it what you will.  No salesman will call, you don't have to join anything, you don't have to wear a special hat, you don't have to sell your SUV and you don't even have to tell another human being you give a flying fig one way or the other.  But I can say from personal experience that once you start to see each piece of the puzzle, you then start to see the picture it forms.  Once you see that picture, you see how you, your children, your friends and your community all fit into that picture.  Once you see that, you understand why you need to do something, regardless of how small that something seems to be.  And, like a Reboot, understanding the need to start is the most difficult phase.  But, like a Reboot, once you do start, you will understand things in a way you've never understood them before.  Things will make sense in a way they've never made sense before.  Your world becomes a new world.  Like your Reboot, you'll say to yourself, "Why didn't someone tell me about his before?"

This is still all about the Reboot. Reboots are not just personal.  Reboots can happen to families, nations and planets.  The only thing that needs to happen is for someone to understand the need to Reboot and then to take the first step.

I am 90% through the 60 days.

Weight: 147.4 lbs.

Food: watermelon, Bananas, almond butter, cherries, almonds, raw cacao goji seed chunks, salad
Nice salad. Sorry for the crappy cell phone snap.

Friday, September 2, 2011

September 2nd, 2011 - Day 55 of 60

After so many weeks of grueling work, the potential for three uninterrupted days of rest (sort of) can be a bit too much for one's psyche.  It is almost as if one needs to be retrained to do nothing.  Granted, with all the work to do around the house in the aftermath of the hurricane, there is plenty to keep me occupied (and then some), but just knowing I don't have to go into the office is a strange feeling.  Now, I've not yet decided if I am going into the office, but the fact is that I don't have to go.  That is the distinction.  It is an important distinction.  There is no end of work to be done, but that fact will ever be.  It is just that the work doesn't have the urgency it did in the weeks leading up to the first day of classes.   The wounds are not spurting blood, just oozing a bit.  They get put back a bit in the triage line.

Sometimes it takes more effort to be kind to yourself than it takes to be thoughtless.  I didn't say the word "cruel" as it may be too shocking for some to take, but that is what occurs when one is thoughtless about one's needs.  We get into rhythms in our work, our relationships, etc. and we don't think about it.  As it relates to my Reboot, I think the rhythm is helpful.  Finding a groove that works for you and lets you easily manage something so healthy and rejuvenating seems wise.  But when you are so used to working around the clock and forgetting why you work in the first place, well, that isn't so good.  No one benefits when someone works themselves into ill health, stress-related mistakes or worse.  There comes a point where you understand that the work will still be there (and perhaps more of it), but if you don't leave it behind in a physical sense and in a mental sense it will get the best of you.  The simple act of taking a day or two off can reap great benefits.  And, really, it isn't as if you are "taking" anything off.  You've earned those days off.  You deserve those days off and more.  You are a human "be-ing", not a human "do-ing".  We work to live, not live to work.  It is easy to forget that when you get into the habit.

This Reboot has been a compressed version of that concept.  It has been a microcosmic "Labor Day Weekend" in the scheme of our lives.  We take a short break from all our labors (eating the wrong foods, not resting, not getting the right sort of exercise, etc.) and allow our body to come to a place where it can heal and revitalize.  In fact, the act of slowing down sometimes gives us a place of quiet we've not had in a very long time.  That quiet gives us the space to really hear what our body is saying.  You know what it is like to be moving so fast you can't even hear what your body or anyone around you is saying, right?  The best we can manage is a nod and a "yeah", as if we actually were listening.

The irony for me is that my Labor Day Weekend is also the last weekend of my Reboot.  Not so much "irony" as " deliciously coincidental".  The sabbatical my body has taken from the labor of mistreatment and thoughtlessness has one more long weekend.  I've considered stretching out my Reboot a little while to allow more time for rest and rejuvenation.  I may or may not do that.  Regardless, it will have to come to an end at some point.  This weekend is the spiritual "last weekend", even if it isn't the last weekend in practice.  I'm also confronted with the idea that my nutritional and biological rest from my typical-American-diet-induced labors can actually end permanently.  I can be embarking upon a perpetual Labor Day Weekend for my body.  That idea excites me to no end.

Three days off from labor is a long time when you are used to working 7 days a week.  But how much better is the idea of never working again?  While we all may need to labor to provide for our material needs, we may no longer need to labor  as it relates to our diet, health and well-being.  This weekend could be the beginning of a lifetime of rest for our bodies.  No more straining to digest too much fatty, processed and protein-heavy foods.  No more struggling to sift through the junk in our systems to find a scrap or two of nutrition.  No more peaks and valleys in blood sugar, weight and energy levels due to refined foods.  No more fighting with addictions to foods whose effects mimic drugs too closely for my comfort.  No more battles, no more dreading the next meal, no more fighting against nature.  Just one long period of well-deserved rest for the weary.

Happy Labor Day weekend!

I am 90% through the 60 days.

Weight: 147.2 lbs.

Food: Watermelon, Strawberries, Bananas, Almond Butter, Broccoli Slaw (2x), Raw Cacao Goji Seed Chunks
How I adore thee, beloved Broccoli Slaw.
Look what someone brought in to OUR office today!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

September 1st, 2011 - Day 54 of 60

Over the last few days I've noticed the widespread effects of the hurricane in the strangest places.  As I live in a watershed area things tend to be a bit more damp, but generally very livable. Having creeks, streams and ponds as neighbors is only troublesome in situations like this.  One thing you notice (other than roads being washed away) is the detritus assembled in unlikely locations.  It was as if the waters called a meeting and everything that wasn't nailed down decided to attend.  Grasses, silt, hay, papers, and any manner of floating materials simply relaxed and allowed the waters to take them on a trip.  After today I felt a little bit like that.

Apart from my normal activities (and, really, I have no normal activities) I received a telephone call from one of our offices regarding an issue with software.  I stopped in on my way back from another job to take a look at the issue.  One of the people concerned with the problem is a woman who has been battling cancer for several months.  I don't know her well, but the first day I met her I knew she did yoga.  I knew it simply from the way she bent over and started up her computer.  When I asked her about it she was sort of taken aback, but in a good way.  Our paths cross rarely and I didn't even notice she was ill until she was well into treatment.  As we spoke today, she seemed a bit more animated and resolute than she had been in the past few months.  Her hair is like a freshly growing field of flax.  The stubbly signs of life are just coming forth and I think it may be mirroring what is going on in her life.  As I worked on the software she explained what was wrong with it and what she needed.  She then asked me if I wanted a doughnut.   I followed her gesturing hand only to see the exact same box I saw yesterday in the office I mentioned in my previous day's post.  I saw that box and I hated it in an unreasonable way.  I had no right to hate it, but I did.  I hated it because I blamed this woman's cancer on it's brightly colored design.  I blamed childhood diabetes, obesity, cancer and everything except the bombing of the World Trade Center on that box.  I wanted to grab that box and throw it out the window, but I composed myself inside and told myself to just get a freaking grip.

I don't make up stories in my blog.  I don't need to fabricate anything.  Life is too amazing and strange for anyone to feel the need to lie.  These coincidences are all around us each day.  We either fail to see them or we fail to understand them.  I see a woman who was vital and strong one day; bald, frail and worn-down by sickness the next.  No, the doughnuts didn't cause her cancer, but I am wondering what did?  I don't know her so I don't know her diet, environment, life or issues.  Maybe it was chemicals in her water as a child, maybe it was radiation from the microwave oven?  But the one thing I wish she didn't ask was if I wanted a damned doughnut.  If anyone else had asked me if I wanted a doughnut I would have smiled and said something about my girlish figure.  Today, I didn't.

I hope never to see that box again, but I imagine I will.  I will see that box again just like I saw my good friend (who is a diabetic) eating some bullshit food with a colorful wrapper when I came back to the office today.  I walked into the room (with my boss sitting right there) and said, "What the hell are you eating?  Do I have to watch you every second?"  He knew I was right, so he gave me no grief.  He knows I say these things because I care for him and want him well.  But today, I was angry.  I was not angry at the people who were ill, I was angry at a world that allows this to go on.  No, I don't want to ban junk food.  No, I don't want a "nanny state". But I do want those charged with our protection to protect us.  I want them to stop hiding behind monied interests and corporate bottom-lines.  I want people to stop worrying about the ramifications of the truth on the economy and start worrying about the ramifications of lies on human beings.

The waters are receding where I live.  There are benchmarks all along my drive home that give me a sense of how things are where I live.  My friend Charlie raises Black Angus steers on his farm.  Near his home is a tributary of our creek that has been rushing quite heartily over the last few days.  On my way to work it was high and spry.  Tonight on my drive home it was only a step or two above normal.  My last few days have been a bit like that.  I am hoping to begin the comforting caress of "normal" soon.  But for me, "normal" has changed.  It no longer includes things like brightly colored doughnut boxes.  Lives around me have changed from more pressing things such as cancer and hurricanes.  And the lives as near to me as a digital inbox have changed as well, mostly for the better.  I'm good with change, but I'm also sick of seeing high waters and doughnut boxes.  To whomsoever is trying to tell me something, I get it already.

I am 85% through the 60 days.

Weight: 146.7 lbs.

Food: Clementines, bananas, almond butter, raw cacao goji seed chunks, apple, cherries, salad, watermelon
Few things in life are more lovely.