Wednesday, September 7, 2011

September 7th, 2011 - Day 60 of 60

I am going to open up a little bit here and lay bare one of the parts of my personality I wish were different.  First, some background... If you met me at a party or in line at the store or maybe at a bar, you'd probably think I was a decent sort of guy.  I am sure I am not everyone's cup of tea, but in my experience most people seem to like me.  A lot of that is due to the fact that I am what I appear to be.  I don't put on a different mask for people, I just allow myself to be myself.  Yes, there are protocols and decorum, so one should behave a certain way in certain situations, but I am usually myself.  I tend to be a tad too cerebral (that doesn't mean I am smart, it just means I think too much), I use humor (No, I've NEVER said "Pull my finger") as a means of facilitating ease and breaking down walls, but I also use it as a defense mechanism.  I'm cool with that.  I am opinionated and I usually don't suffer foolish arguments.  I will, however, buy you a drink even if your views and mine are at odds, as long as you think your position through and can give it a credible defense.  I believe man is a mental, physical and spiritual creature and needs to nurture all those components.   I genuinely care about people and the world and have tried my best to do my part.  But, I also realize I am one person and I have no desire to be a martyr or hero.  I believe ANYONE can sing and encourage it.  I believe men should dance together (not cheek to cheek, but more like this).  I believe we live in a system that is terribly broken and outdated and in need of replacement.  I believe every person has a song to sing, a story to tell an a unique insight to offer.  As I age I have less patience for foolish distraction.  I enjoy seeing young people having fun.  I tend to be able to see both sides of an argument and don't always feel someone has to be "right".  I think advertising is one of the worst things ever foisted on our society and the profession is one step above pedophile.  No, I don't mean putting out a sign stating you offer a service, I mean making it your mission in life to convince the world their lives are meaningless without your useless crap.  Seriously, you suck.  I don't like professions that feel doing things quickly is better than thinking them through.  I like cats AND dogs equally.  I think animals are an equal creation in the world and we have no right to treat them the way we do.  And, finally, I think I am addicted to Cacao Goji Seed Chunks.

So, the part where I open up a bit... When Halloween rolls around,  I start to get edgy.  It isn't because I worry about my car being egged or the cost of candy (I live in the country so I think I've had three "trick or treaters" in twenty years).  Rather, it means that the next holiday is Thanksgiving, followed by Christmas.  Now, I will quickly say that I have nothing against these holidays.  I find the excessive eating on Thanksgiving to be a bit much, but if it is only one day a year, go for it!  As for Christmas, I despise the commercialization of the holiday and I loathe the rampant consumerism.  But, as a holiday, it has many fond memories and I enjoy it.   But, the thing I don't like about these holidays is the mandatory family gathering.  I just can't take it.  It drives me mad.  It doesn't matter if it is my family or my wife's family.  They are all wonderful people.  Salt of the earth.   It is just that they at are all... so... BORING.  You'd think that in a room of forty or fifty people that someone would have something interesting and stimulating to say.  Not so.  Literally, I want scream and run away.  I don't care who is on "American Idol".  I can't imagine finding the latest gossip from church the least bit interesting.  I don't care about your child's bowel habits.  I guess I am just a bad person or something.  I hate it so much that it is scary.  I know it is my issue, so don't think I am blaming anyone or thinking myself better than anyone.  I know I am the loser here.  My favorite holidays have been the one's where we had our friends over rather than family.  Just spectacular days.  Interesting people with actual thoughts in their heads and a healthy curiosity over how the world works and a mind that turns in the direction of considering what that all means.  And FUNNY.  Shit, my friends are funny.  Family... not so much.  It is sad.

So, my point?  Once I manage to grit my teeth, put on a happy face, tell myself to get over my petty, immature bull and be human to everyone, etc.  I find that I get through it all and the world keeps turning.   I will sit there and smile for a while, knowing that it is now the longest possible stretch of time before I have to do this again.  What a wretched thing to think!  I should be ashamed.  I'm not, but I should be.  But even when I realize I have a long time between "performances", I know it will happen again.  It is one of those things we do because we must.  I feel guilty because I'd rather spend time and holidays with my friends than with my family.  My friends ARE my family.  Then I get into a guilt spiral because I know my family all love me and wish we were closer... blah, blah, blah.

So, here on the last day of my Reboot, I am feeling a bit unfulfilled.  It has been, without a doubt, a spectacular Reboot.  I feel so good that I sometimes can't believe it.  I have yet to get bored with my monotonous diet.  I have more energy, sleep less and just feel like a new person.  So, if all that good stuff is true, why am I being such a "Negative Nelly" here today?  Well, I think it is because I realized, like my holiday obligations, that a Reboot is an ongoing obligation.  I also realized that I need to step up a few things.  The danger of giving things a name and giving them finite time limits is pronounced.  When you name something it becomes some kind of a spectacle.  Instead of thinking, "I think I'll try to eat well and walk around the block every night for a couple months and see how it goes," it now becomes, "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to announce to the assemblage that I will be undertaking a Reboot over the next 60 days!"  Once you do that, expectations are high.  And, when you assign starting and ending dates, each day near the end becomes more and more vital.  Did I do enough?  Should I try harder?  And, when you combine these things, it stops being just a start to a new way of thinking and living; it almost becomes a type of contest.

I do understand the benefit of all the things I just said.  I like goals.  Goals help us see we can make progress in bite-sized, manageable portions.  It gives us focus and a target toward which we can aim.  I do know this.  But the sort of personality I have never lets me just relax there, just like I can't relax in a room filled with my family.  The Reboot is the door to a new world and over the last couple days the full force of that notion struck me.  I wasn't finished, I was just at the end of the first beginning.  Now I am on to the next beginning.  It is "the song that never ends, it just goes on and on my friend..."  Even before this Reboot ended, I started to consider my next steps and the next after that.  That is good, but it is also a bit frightening.  I am happy my mind is thinking in that way, but I am also certain that all my thought on this means it is not easy.  That hardest part is fitting in with everyone else.  I find that so hard.  I don't like sticking out and being a spectacle.  I don't mind being different, but it appears I am always that person who does things differently.  That is something I'll have to work on in my head over the next weeks and months.

My Reboot is over, yet it has just begun.  I don't mind telling you that I am a tad uncertain over what the next weeks hold.  That is odd coming from me, because I am overly-confident in all I do.  I am not uncertain I can do it, I am uncertain over how I'll handle my life.  This really is a change of your life.  No one who is "normal" generally thinks like this.  They eat what is there.  Burger?  Super!  Macaroni Salad?  Yum!  But now I've become "one of those" people.  I don't like the idea of being "one of those people."  I don't want to be a problem, nuisance or "special case".  I don't want to be the guy on the airplane who gets the "Kosher, Vegan, Organic, Fair-Trade, Non-GMO, Cruelty-Free Meal."

I've lost about 15% of my bodyweight on this Reboot.  That isn't much, but I didn't have a lot to lose in the first place.  My next phase will include more rigorous exercise for a few weeks.  And, now that my 60 days are up, I will include cooked vegan food in my diet if I so desire.  At this point it is easier just to stay mainly raw.  I foresee smoothies, raw food and the occasional rice and beans dinner or maybe lentil stew.  Not very thrilling, but it works for me.

You guys have been so amazingly inspiring to me.  I've heard your stories and been so motivated by them.  This community, which has the WORST web page in the world, has the best people in the world.  Everyone rides along on the energy wave of each other.  It is contagious motivation.  It is real people who care about one another.  It is very moving.

I've thought about it for a bit and I've decided it is probably best to end the blog at this point.  I will keep it open in case I decide I have a new insight or decide to do another Reboot, but I honestly think there are so many of you that have wonderfully insightful and motivating things to say that I really won't be adding anything to the conversation.  I've said all I need to say here and that should be enough.  I don't want to be the old guy who keeps repeating the same story over and over.

From the bottom of my heart, I want to thank each and every one of you for the inspiration, motivation and illumination.  You guys are the best of the best.  Don't give up on your Reboots or on each other.  See it through to the end.  Once you've done that, I pray that, like me, you'll be faced, not with a finish line, but a broad expanse.  You'll see that your Reboot was just the start of change.  It was to show yourself that you CAN change anything you desire if you want it badly enough: your eating habits, your health and even your world.

Thanks Joe, Phil and all of you for a transforming 60 days. 

We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do. 

M.K. Gandhi

I am 100% through the 60 days.

Weight: 147.1 lbs.

Food: Banana, Almond Butter, Clementines, Watermelon, Salad, Broccoli Slaw, Cacao Goji Seed Chunks
Breakfast and lunch (minus almond butter)

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

September 6th, 2011 - Day 59 of 60

I'd like to interject a trifling bit of perspective on all the Rebooting that has transpired over the last 59 days.  While this has all been spectacular in so many ways, there are other things occurring outside the verge of my Vita-Mix and beyond the borders of my blog.  As we speak, it just won't stop raining in New York.  There are towns not too far from me that, in essence, do not exist any longer.  In Texas, vast acres of farm land and residential areas are being burned away.  A part of my college town, Oklahoma City, burned and there was no nearby water to quench the flames.  In the horn of Africa there is a severe drought and famine that has displaced almost one million people and has led to the deaths of tens of thousands.  And those are just the headlines new enough that people have yet to grow bored reading them.  I could go on (as I tend to do) but I will not.  All I will say here is that as I near the end I wanted to remind myself and everyone else that Rebooting is a wonderful thing that more should do, but in the cosmic scheme of things it is a low priority.  It isn't just the previously mentioned troubles that I'd like you to bring to mind, but the fact that the endless election season is upon us and we have the chance to change all these foul things we've talked about over these weeks.  In the end, we really do have some kind of choice.  No, I don't think it is enough choice or a level enough playing field, but things can be done.  So, my hope is we invest at least as much time, energy and resources into the upcoming election year (that seems like a century) as we invested into our Reboots.  The juice Reboot is good for us, a national Reboot is good for everyone.

With that, I'll not labor over juice with pulp vs. juice without pulp.  I am certain we can all weigh the pros and cons of that issue and come to a conclusion with which we can all live.

I promise I'll be back to normal (whatever that is) tomorrow.

I am 95% through the 60 days.

Weight: 145.9 lbs.

Food: Watermelon, bananas, almond butter, mixed nuts, apple, cacao goji seed chunks, broccoli slaw
Even a photo of watermelon makes me hungry.

Monday, September 5, 2011

September 5th, 2011 - Day 58 of 60

If yesterday was the most difficult day of this final weekend of my Reboot, today was the most tedious.  It was "Family Holiday Gathering Day": the perfect ending to the weekend.  It is the time when you cram yourself together with too many people (far too many of whom are children) into far too little space while there is too much conversation about far too little of interest for far too long.  Added to the "too" pile was the fact (and when I say "fact", I mean FACT) there was no edible item anywhere to be found.  When I say these words, I know the knee-jerk reaction is to think, "Well, he means there wasn't much to eat or that it didn't taste good."  No.  What I mean is what I said: NOTHING TO EAT FOR ME.  Snack crackers by the truckload, cheese/cheeze by the ton, meats, dips, cooked salads and even booze.  No "food".  It was all so uninspired that I, too, am uninspired.  It is all I can do to manage a few words as stale as the Ritz crackers must have been after sitting out in a bowl all day long.

Not even one fresh salad.  The closest thing to eat was a dip which had tomato, onion, peppers, etc. but also a thick paste of some sort of cheese-like substance.  Happily, I was prepared and there were no dramas or scenes  or endless apologies.  It all worked out and it was all good.  I survived the day and the next time I will likely worry about such things will be Thanksgiving.  I am sure many of you were in the same boat this weekend, so I do feel your pain.

The most intriguing thing was how absolutely unappealing it all was.  I mean, even if I couldn't eat it, could I at least lust over it?  Could I have the small-consolation of fantasizing what I'd do to that main course if I was given the opportunity?  Greasy chicken wings with a thick coating of sugary-smelling sauce, tasteless-looking salads that probably needed the endless sodium to even stimulate a taste bud in much the same way smelling salts attack the olfactory system.  It was all simply foul and disgusting.  Not one plate of raw veggies.  No fruits out there waiting for flies to land on them.  Not even nuts.  Wow.  That, my friends, is astounding.

Now let me be quick to add that I fully understand that I am the weirdo here.  I know everyone else looked and saw "food".  I know I am the odd duck.  But even so, I think this whole situation was spectacularly indicative of what is going on in this world.  Who can afford to feed that many people well?  It is easy to open a bag or container or can and just slurp it into a bowl.   Everyone likes snacks.  They sell well because they appeal to the system.  The salt, sugar, fat, crunch and interesting shapes all woo us.  For whatever reason, it wasn't working for me.  It was like a mule in a bikini:  Dressing it up didn't help.

After this weekend, the next couple days should be a walk in the park.  It is a rough world out there, dear Rebooting friends.  I hope you all were able to weather the storm.  If not, I hope you, at least, had the good sense to choose cannibalism over Doritos(tm).

I am 95% through the 60 days.

Weight: 146.3 lbs.

Food: Clementines, banana, almond butter, raw cacao goji seed chunks, almonds, salad

Sunday, September 4, 2011

September 4th, 2011 - Day 57 of 60

Earlier in the week sprinting legend Usain Bolt of Jamaica was disqualified from his bread and butter (did I say that... must be craving it) event, the 100 meters, due to a false start.  I can't pretend to know what it must be like to be a world-class athlete with so few real events in which to display your prowess.  Really, you've got the World Championships and the Olympics.  So, it is like being a great musician and only getting to play two or three concerts a year and they all mean EVERYTHING.  With normal people, you work at least five days a week, so if you mess up, you shrug your shoulders and you go on.  With someone like Usain Bolt, you can't afford to do that.  You work incessantly all for what... 30 good seconds on the track a year or so?  All the work he put in for so long was out the door because of a misunderstanding of the rules.  Quite hard to take.

When you combine the level of proficiency with the massive training and the psychological stress, these athletes are like taut violin strings ready to snap.  Is it any wonder Bolt had a false start?  His whole life revolves around exploding out of those blocks and running faster than anyone has ever run in the history of our planet for less than ten seconds.  It is amazing beyond words.  All that pent up energy and anticipation and competitive fury.  I am shocked more of them don't false start.  I've seen horses do the same thing in the gates before a race.  They are edgy and just want to run.  Those gates are a foreign place to them, but the open track in full gallop, that is where they are in control and where they are comfortable.

On day 57 of my Reboot I felt like Usain Bolt and those race horses and didn't know what to do with myself.  I am trying so hard to relax because I know I need to do so.  I've worked too hard for too long and I need to understand that relaxation is as much a component of health as the ability to work.  So, after a while I did alright.  I was planning on going to our annual Irish cultural festival, but my grandson wanted to come over and spend the night, so we stayed home instead.   All that pent-up energy was getting me edgy and, truth be told, it still is.  Like a sprinter, I am in the last few strides of my Reboot and I can see the finish line.  Now, the fact that you see the finish line doesn't mean you relax.  Any runner knows that the finish line is just a place through which you continue to run.  Yes, it is a goal of sorts, but it isn't the end.  With my race coming close to the point at which I can slow down, I still feel the burst of energy.  I don't know what that might be.  I think part of it is I am still uncertain of my direction after this ends.  Yes, I know what I want to do in a general sense, but I guess I want something more solid.  Too many distractions and too many choices.  And, if I am honest, I will say that I am uncertain.  That is likely because, unlike the thoroughbred and the sprinter, the race isn't the place in which I am most comfortable.  I have years of training to put in before that occurs.  But I will be fine and once the last day goes by I will know what I will do.  I may do nothing except keep running in the same direction for a bit because it seems like a safe and smart thing to do, just as those sprinters do. 

The good news is that Usain Bolt was able to channel that energy not used in the 100 meters into wins in the 200 meters and a gold medal/world record for the Jamaican team in the 4x100 meter relay.  Even starting falsely can end up in a truly victorious finish.

Finally, I think all my extra energy comes from knowing that my finish line is really just the starting line.  It is almost like being Bill Murray's character in "Groundhog Day" in that when I hit that finish line tape, all I am doing is coming off the blocks again.  That sort of uncertainty can make one's energy churn. Usain Bolt can revel in his victory, but champions are only as good as their next race.  Like a runner on a Möbius strip track: there is no beginning and there is no ending.  All there will be is the race.  Once you can wrap your head around that, it all works out.  Since my early nutritional life was one giant false start, I hope my end will be like Mr. Bolt's and not only afford me redemption and some small victory, but also help wipe away the disappointment, regret and damage from that failure.  Like Mr. Bolt, I plan on giving my best, even when there are false starts and the occasional misstep.  Unlike Mr. Bolt, my biggest race is every day.  Thankfully I am not celebrating with the Jamaican track team, for I would likely succumb to the overpowering wiles of Jerk Chicken.

I am 90% through the 60 days.

Weight: 147.5 lbs.

Food: Banana, Almond Butter, Raw Cacao Goji Seed Chunks, Clementines, Cherries, Watermelon, Almonds
This happy chap is from my garden. (I added the eyes)

Saturday, September 3, 2011

September 3rd, 2011 - Day 56 of 60

A few days ago I read this article and was going to comment on it when I was distracted by other things.  Even after the distance a few days can bring has been inserted into my life, I am still troubled by the article's contents.  If you were to read some of my other writings (AKA "rantings") you'd know I am big on several subjects, one of which is overpopulation.  I love people (in concept) and I am happy when people are happy to have children (as long as they are not kicking my seat at the movies).  But even when everything goes right in our procreation process there are still looming issues that face us all.  I am not going to belabor points that have been made ad nauseum by minds far more gifted than mine.  You and I both know we are in for some rough times ahead if changes are not made and made soon. The depth of that trouble depends on how we react to the myriad issues facing us.

In general, we react to troubles by assuming someone who is really smart is taking care of things and we can all go on with our lives as usual.  That means driving a vehicle that may be too large, costly or gas-consuming than our needs require.  That means a house that may be far larger than we require.  That means living beyond our economic resources.  Etc.  Anyone who only occasionally thinks of these things should take time to watch this video and really try to comprehend the crux of the matter from a purely scientific, mathematical and emotionally-detached perspective.  When we understand the inextricably-bound issues of over-population, energy production, consumption, agriculture, climate change and political turmoil and how their converging ramifications form a synergy that will not be deflected with positive thinking or better campaign slogans, perhaps we'll wake up?  My hope is that we do so before it is too late.  And, really, had we made just a few, minor adjustments in our lives a few short years ago, we could have avoided many of the issues we are now facing.  No one was asking for us to live in shacks and eat gruel and have only one pair of shoes.  A video such as the one here outlines a few of the challenges we face, but also offers a few potential courses of action (sorry that there is a commercial in Dutch beforehand, but there is an English-speaking interview in there).

I am not here to preach to you or convert you to any particular way of thinking.  You are a free moral agent and must decide how your time, energy and resources are allocated.  But I am trying to, at least, make you aware of information I feel is often unreported or, at best, under-reported in the mainstream media, but has been common knowledge in many circles in our world for years.  And, regardless of what you think of my particular point in this post, I hope you will at least read the previous sentence and feel a ring of familiarity.  Meaning, what was your perspective on food, nutrition, medicine and health prior to seeing "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead?"  What has changed in your perspective after being introduced to the doctor who treated Joe Cross, Dr. Joel Fuhrman, and saw how well his methods worked without costly drugs or dangerous procedures?  Did it cause you to seek out other, similar, information, like the new-to-DVD movie, "Forks Over Knives", or "Food Inc." or "Food Matters" or any of dozens of books, videos and web sites that give straight talk on the political, economic and cultural manipulation of food and nutritional information?  If you have sought deeper and more "alternative" perspectives on food, then the information about which I am speaking today will be of little surprise to you. 

Food links all that we do.  We wake up in order to eat.  If we have a family or clan we wake up to ensure that everyone eats, is safe, is well and is as joyful as possible.  That is what we do.  The rest is happy accessories and options. If you had a guaranteed source of nutritious food and a safe, healthy home in which to live, how would that change your life?  What could you do differently?  Well, as housing, property, food and similar items are NOT free and closely controlled, that is a moot point.

You are reading this post because you, somehow, ended up on a web site that helps those who wish to "Reboot" their lives.  At its core, the Reboot is about the choices we make once we have facts.  Once you have that information you must then decide on its veracity and how to live based on what you now know.  You likely know much more about food than you knew in the past, so now you must live in accordance with this new knowledge or choose to ignore it.  These other things about which I am speaking are no different except their ramifications go far beyond your personal health, weight and lifestyle.  This information is like a "Reboot" for our civilization.  

Do with it what you will.  No salesman will call, you don't have to join anything, you don't have to wear a special hat, you don't have to sell your SUV and you don't even have to tell another human being you give a flying fig one way or the other.  But I can say from personal experience that once you start to see each piece of the puzzle, you then start to see the picture it forms.  Once you see that picture, you see how you, your children, your friends and your community all fit into that picture.  Once you see that, you understand why you need to do something, regardless of how small that something seems to be.  And, like a Reboot, understanding the need to start is the most difficult phase.  But, like a Reboot, once you do start, you will understand things in a way you've never understood them before.  Things will make sense in a way they've never made sense before.  Your world becomes a new world.  Like your Reboot, you'll say to yourself, "Why didn't someone tell me about his before?"

This is still all about the Reboot. Reboots are not just personal.  Reboots can happen to families, nations and planets.  The only thing that needs to happen is for someone to understand the need to Reboot and then to take the first step.

I am 90% through the 60 days.

Weight: 147.4 lbs.

Food: watermelon, Bananas, almond butter, cherries, almonds, raw cacao goji seed chunks, salad
Nice salad. Sorry for the crappy cell phone snap.

Friday, September 2, 2011

September 2nd, 2011 - Day 55 of 60

After so many weeks of grueling work, the potential for three uninterrupted days of rest (sort of) can be a bit too much for one's psyche.  It is almost as if one needs to be retrained to do nothing.  Granted, with all the work to do around the house in the aftermath of the hurricane, there is plenty to keep me occupied (and then some), but just knowing I don't have to go into the office is a strange feeling.  Now, I've not yet decided if I am going into the office, but the fact is that I don't have to go.  That is the distinction.  It is an important distinction.  There is no end of work to be done, but that fact will ever be.  It is just that the work doesn't have the urgency it did in the weeks leading up to the first day of classes.   The wounds are not spurting blood, just oozing a bit.  They get put back a bit in the triage line.

Sometimes it takes more effort to be kind to yourself than it takes to be thoughtless.  I didn't say the word "cruel" as it may be too shocking for some to take, but that is what occurs when one is thoughtless about one's needs.  We get into rhythms in our work, our relationships, etc. and we don't think about it.  As it relates to my Reboot, I think the rhythm is helpful.  Finding a groove that works for you and lets you easily manage something so healthy and rejuvenating seems wise.  But when you are so used to working around the clock and forgetting why you work in the first place, well, that isn't so good.  No one benefits when someone works themselves into ill health, stress-related mistakes or worse.  There comes a point where you understand that the work will still be there (and perhaps more of it), but if you don't leave it behind in a physical sense and in a mental sense it will get the best of you.  The simple act of taking a day or two off can reap great benefits.  And, really, it isn't as if you are "taking" anything off.  You've earned those days off.  You deserve those days off and more.  You are a human "be-ing", not a human "do-ing".  We work to live, not live to work.  It is easy to forget that when you get into the habit.

This Reboot has been a compressed version of that concept.  It has been a microcosmic "Labor Day Weekend" in the scheme of our lives.  We take a short break from all our labors (eating the wrong foods, not resting, not getting the right sort of exercise, etc.) and allow our body to come to a place where it can heal and revitalize.  In fact, the act of slowing down sometimes gives us a place of quiet we've not had in a very long time.  That quiet gives us the space to really hear what our body is saying.  You know what it is like to be moving so fast you can't even hear what your body or anyone around you is saying, right?  The best we can manage is a nod and a "yeah", as if we actually were listening.

The irony for me is that my Labor Day Weekend is also the last weekend of my Reboot.  Not so much "irony" as " deliciously coincidental".  The sabbatical my body has taken from the labor of mistreatment and thoughtlessness has one more long weekend.  I've considered stretching out my Reboot a little while to allow more time for rest and rejuvenation.  I may or may not do that.  Regardless, it will have to come to an end at some point.  This weekend is the spiritual "last weekend", even if it isn't the last weekend in practice.  I'm also confronted with the idea that my nutritional and biological rest from my typical-American-diet-induced labors can actually end permanently.  I can be embarking upon a perpetual Labor Day Weekend for my body.  That idea excites me to no end.

Three days off from labor is a long time when you are used to working 7 days a week.  But how much better is the idea of never working again?  While we all may need to labor to provide for our material needs, we may no longer need to labor  as it relates to our diet, health and well-being.  This weekend could be the beginning of a lifetime of rest for our bodies.  No more straining to digest too much fatty, processed and protein-heavy foods.  No more struggling to sift through the junk in our systems to find a scrap or two of nutrition.  No more peaks and valleys in blood sugar, weight and energy levels due to refined foods.  No more fighting with addictions to foods whose effects mimic drugs too closely for my comfort.  No more battles, no more dreading the next meal, no more fighting against nature.  Just one long period of well-deserved rest for the weary.

Happy Labor Day weekend!

I am 90% through the 60 days.

Weight: 147.2 lbs.

Food: Watermelon, Strawberries, Bananas, Almond Butter, Broccoli Slaw (2x), Raw Cacao Goji Seed Chunks
How I adore thee, beloved Broccoli Slaw.
Look what someone brought in to OUR office today!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

September 1st, 2011 - Day 54 of 60

Over the last few days I've noticed the widespread effects of the hurricane in the strangest places.  As I live in a watershed area things tend to be a bit more damp, but generally very livable. Having creeks, streams and ponds as neighbors is only troublesome in situations like this.  One thing you notice (other than roads being washed away) is the detritus assembled in unlikely locations.  It was as if the waters called a meeting and everything that wasn't nailed down decided to attend.  Grasses, silt, hay, papers, and any manner of floating materials simply relaxed and allowed the waters to take them on a trip.  After today I felt a little bit like that.

Apart from my normal activities (and, really, I have no normal activities) I received a telephone call from one of our offices regarding an issue with software.  I stopped in on my way back from another job to take a look at the issue.  One of the people concerned with the problem is a woman who has been battling cancer for several months.  I don't know her well, but the first day I met her I knew she did yoga.  I knew it simply from the way she bent over and started up her computer.  When I asked her about it she was sort of taken aback, but in a good way.  Our paths cross rarely and I didn't even notice she was ill until she was well into treatment.  As we spoke today, she seemed a bit more animated and resolute than she had been in the past few months.  Her hair is like a freshly growing field of flax.  The stubbly signs of life are just coming forth and I think it may be mirroring what is going on in her life.  As I worked on the software she explained what was wrong with it and what she needed.  She then asked me if I wanted a doughnut.   I followed her gesturing hand only to see the exact same box I saw yesterday in the office I mentioned in my previous day's post.  I saw that box and I hated it in an unreasonable way.  I had no right to hate it, but I did.  I hated it because I blamed this woman's cancer on it's brightly colored design.  I blamed childhood diabetes, obesity, cancer and everything except the bombing of the World Trade Center on that box.  I wanted to grab that box and throw it out the window, but I composed myself inside and told myself to just get a freaking grip.

I don't make up stories in my blog.  I don't need to fabricate anything.  Life is too amazing and strange for anyone to feel the need to lie.  These coincidences are all around us each day.  We either fail to see them or we fail to understand them.  I see a woman who was vital and strong one day; bald, frail and worn-down by sickness the next.  No, the doughnuts didn't cause her cancer, but I am wondering what did?  I don't know her so I don't know her diet, environment, life or issues.  Maybe it was chemicals in her water as a child, maybe it was radiation from the microwave oven?  But the one thing I wish she didn't ask was if I wanted a damned doughnut.  If anyone else had asked me if I wanted a doughnut I would have smiled and said something about my girlish figure.  Today, I didn't.

I hope never to see that box again, but I imagine I will.  I will see that box again just like I saw my good friend (who is a diabetic) eating some bullshit food with a colorful wrapper when I came back to the office today.  I walked into the room (with my boss sitting right there) and said, "What the hell are you eating?  Do I have to watch you every second?"  He knew I was right, so he gave me no grief.  He knows I say these things because I care for him and want him well.  But today, I was angry.  I was not angry at the people who were ill, I was angry at a world that allows this to go on.  No, I don't want to ban junk food.  No, I don't want a "nanny state". But I do want those charged with our protection to protect us.  I want them to stop hiding behind monied interests and corporate bottom-lines.  I want people to stop worrying about the ramifications of the truth on the economy and start worrying about the ramifications of lies on human beings.

The waters are receding where I live.  There are benchmarks all along my drive home that give me a sense of how things are where I live.  My friend Charlie raises Black Angus steers on his farm.  Near his home is a tributary of our creek that has been rushing quite heartily over the last few days.  On my way to work it was high and spry.  Tonight on my drive home it was only a step or two above normal.  My last few days have been a bit like that.  I am hoping to begin the comforting caress of "normal" soon.  But for me, "normal" has changed.  It no longer includes things like brightly colored doughnut boxes.  Lives around me have changed from more pressing things such as cancer and hurricanes.  And the lives as near to me as a digital inbox have changed as well, mostly for the better.  I'm good with change, but I'm also sick of seeing high waters and doughnut boxes.  To whomsoever is trying to tell me something, I get it already.

I am 85% through the 60 days.

Weight: 146.7 lbs.

Food: Clementines, bananas, almond butter, raw cacao goji seed chunks, apple, cherries, salad, watermelon
Few things in life are more lovely.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

August 31st, 2011 - Day 53 of 60

I think most of us have hear the phrase, "I wish I was a fly on the wall."  It is used to describe the ability to be in a room, unnoticed, while the normal activities of the day unfold (especially the sordid activities).  Today I was in an office taking care of a particularly mindless, yet important task.  The entire process took about half an hour.  I was stationed in a location that was in the midst of things, yet after a few minutes it was as if I was blessed with Harry Potter's "Cloak of Invisibility."  The main thing I noticed was everyone's reaction to the box (a large box) of doughnuts on the table next to the entry.  I have to say, without fail, 95% of the people who entered the room had an interaction of some sort with that box.  Now, those who had the interaction were not all employees of that office.  I don't know the particulars of that box of doughnuts, but it appeared that someone brought them in for the consumption of the members of that office.  This particular office always has some kind of food (treats) out for communal consumption.  Most people stopped, opened the box, scrutinized the scrumptious snacks picked one out and them moved on.  A few stopped, looked at the contents, thought about it, and then moved on without partaking.  This may have been due to the ever-dwindling choice of cakey confections.  But the ones that intrigued me the most were the ones who walked by the box, eyed the box but kept moving on to other things.  These people seemed to always come back and always eyed the box.  Eventually, most would stop, open the box, chastise themselves in some way, and take a doughnut.  Many just strolled up, took a doughnut and started eating it with a smile.  But some seemed so distraught with themselves that I felt terrible witnessing the moment unfold.  I mean, if you want a doughnut badly enough, just take the thing and eat it with pleasure.  But these people had stern words for themselves.  "I should do this".  "I am so weak."  "I know this is so bad for me."  On it went.  One particular woman came in quietly, walked right over to the box, opened it for a moment, took her doughnut, held it in her hands in such a way as to obscure it, walked quietly out and never had any expression on her face other than sadness.  It was as if she was scoring some heroin in some back alley and couldn't stand thinking of herself as human.  It broke my heart.

Pretty much everyone I know loves doughnuts.  What is not to love?  The only down-side to doughnuts is they are junk food.  What I saw on the face of those people, in general, was a general disdain for themselves and even a downright disrespect for their "weakness".  These people have no idea what they are up against.  If you think you can just stop eating junk food, you need to think again.  What you are dealing with is evolution, genetics, programming, addiction, science, technology, marketing, peer pressure and popular culture all conspiring against you.  To be able to give up such things is a monumental task.  It really is a very big deal.

The recently released movie "Forks Over Knives"  has a section regarding the nature of diet as it relates to obesity.  Psychologist Doug Lisle, PhD., states,  "It isn't that people become more self-indulgent, it isn't because they are lazier than they ever were, what is happening is that their mechanisms of satiation are being fooled." The narrator goes on to describe how refined and "calorie dense" foods don't trigger our "stretch receptors" and "density receptors" properly which causes us to overeat.  Processed and/or unnatural foods fill us less and fail to trigger the sensors properly.  That makes those sensors tell our brains, "You need to eat more food!"  As Doug Lisle continues, "The problem with weight management in humans is that if you make these foods completely artificial, which we do today, you wind up with a problem that the people have to overeat just to be satisfied."

As I watched the pained expression on these people's face (for the most part, though some were pretty happy) my heart broke.  I wanted to do something, but really, what can I do?  Do these people need one more person in life telling them what to do about their weight issues and how they were weak?  I don't think so.  If those looks on their faces told me anything it was that they already knew this.  What they needed was for someone to tell them that they were wonderful, valuable and fantastic human beings who deserved better.  They needed to know there was a way out of that mess.  Sadly, today was not that day.  Sometimes you need someone to come along and help you out of the ditch in the road and sometimes you need to pull yourself out of the pit.

As my heart grieved, I continued to watch this seemingly endless conga line of despair.  One after the other they would walk up and take the "drug" and walk away.  Why do I think of Jonestown and Kool-Aid?  I guess I'm maudlin.

After I finished my duties and left, all I could think was "The fly on the wall would have been more nutritious."

I am 85% through the 60 days.

Weight: 146.5 lbs.

Food: Clementines, Cherries, Bananas, Almond Butter, Mixed Nuts, Raw Cacao Goji Seed Chunks, Salad, Broccoli Slaw
The greens and purple cabbage are buried.
I love how these look in salads.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

August 30th, 2011 - Day 52 of 60

The belated first day of classes was today and the campus was a beehive of activity.  I found myself running around like a madman again today, but I still had time to get important things done and eat.  I ate a lot today, but that is alright.  I feel like I am due.  The first day of class is stressful for everyone, but especially the new students.  They are nervous and don't know what to do with themselves.  They are afraid they are not in the right place or they'll forget something or do something wrong.  It is their first day in a "new school" and they are now free to create a new persona.  They don't have to be judged by the past and have nothing but the future in front of them.  I am amused at how casually the kids dress.  I made myself laugh as I imagined a bunch of kids dressed up in prom formals for classes. That sounds like a good idea to me, but it would take some real commitment to make happen.  After a week or so, they will start to figure out the feel of the joint and all will be well.  They'll make new friends and new memories.

I've still not decided anything on the remainder of my reboot.  Well, I guess my decision is to make no decision.  Too much is going on at work for me to get overly creative or motivated.  Quite a few people who are just back to work from their summer break asked me if I lost weight.  I told them I had my eyebrows done.  They look at me strangely and I know all I well.

I don't have much to say as I think I am operating in a sleep deficit of several days.  I wish I could lay down now and sleep, but it is too early.  I'll just have to figure out something to do for an hour or so. 

While it isn't my first day of school, it is getting to the end of my first reboot.  I guess I am trying to create something new.  Perhaps not a new persona, but a new container for my persona.  I am not nervous nor am I concerned about being in the wrong place.  I am in the right place at this point.  If nothing else, I know none of this education will go to waste regardless of what I do with it.

Sorry for the lack of insightful words tonight.  I'm just feeling the effects of the past couple weeks.

I am 85% through the 60 days.

Weight: 147.1 lbs.

Food: Cherries, Clementines, banana, almond butter, almonds, raw cacao goji seed chunks, large salad, broccoli slaw.

Monday, August 29, 2011

August 29th, 2011 - Day 51 of 60

Good grief, did I say something stupid like "things are leveling off" and did I give the impression that the hard part was over with my work?  It is 10:10 P.M. and I am just getting home.  My reward for a hard day's work is stuffing my face with cold watermelon and writing something here in the hope I'll find inspiration by the next sentence. So.... how was your day?

As classes were canceled today due to the hurricane, I took advantage of the relative quiet to finish up a few things I thought important and had nothing but issues.  I will spare everyone the technical mumbo-jumbo, but suffice it to say that I needed to improvise quite a bit today.  I had to drive to our "south campus" to finish some things and found several of the rooms were not cooperating in the way I expected.  After a bit of tap dancing around I finally found a way out of the situation and got things moving.  Then, back on the "main campus" I had one particularly difficult machine which had a hardware failure earlier in the week.  That rectified, I moved on to ensuring the software was up to snuff.  That machine, too, needed some ingenuity.  It was frustrating and time consuming, but it appears to be working.  Then, finally, one lab that was sort of forgotten (not really, but sort of) had to be made ready for classes, so I figured I may as well do it now.  Hours later and some real vamping behind me, it, too, is done.  Now I am exhausted and trying to see how much watermelon I can jam into my body before I burst.

As I was running to and fro (not "seeking whom I may devour") today I noticed my foot was still giving me trouble.  I was walking around in my socks for much of the day.  While that made the blister happy, my feet started to hurt around 8:00 P.M.  Walking around that much on a hard floor can make your feet sore if you are not used to being without shoes that much.  That set my mind awhirl... "Why did I get a blister in the first place?"  As a man, I am not overly concerned with fashion.  Clothes are utilitarian to me: cover nakedness, keep me warm, keep me safe from the environment and occasionally protest those in authority with an appropriate phrase on a t-shirt.  I wear two pair of shoes, mainly, over the course of the year: my boots for cold weather and winter and my Crocs the rest of the year.  I've been wearing this pair of Crocs each day, without fail, since April.   That is FIVE months.  Never a blister, pinch or problem.  They are the most comfortable shoe I've ever worn.  These are not the kind with holes.  They are all black and look a bit less "playful" than most Crocs.  I ordered them from a restaurant supply house in Colorado.  So, what was up?  I guess all the improvising I did today made my brain wake up as I considered my bad fortune with the blister and came up with my solution:  If you recall, I mentioned a few days back my fingers felt stiff and swollen from all the walking and swinging my arms.  It never occurred to me that my feet are sort of like my hands, only on the other end of my body (and I don't do "high fives" with them).  I think they were a tad swollen, too, and that caused the blister.

My day has been long and fruitful, but it was filled with lots of improvisation due to difficulties.  All the trouble was put to rest, but it wasn't easy.  My Reboot has been long and fruitful.  It has been useful and put a few things to rest. With only ten days left I've gone quite far.  It has been wonderful, but it has required a bit of improvising as well.  When you are not used to eating a certain way or making juice frequently or making smoothies frequently, you have to either think outside the box or you have to find a rhythm you can live with for a bit.  Then, once you start noticing how the rest of your life is affected by the Reboot, you need to improvise there as well.  What do you do when invited out to lunch?  What happens when friends come over?  What do you do on a long day trip?  Etc.  When you Reboot you sometimes have to think on your feet (even when they are aching and blistered).  It is so easy to revert to comfortable, old habits.  They fit better than shoes that don't give blisters.  But they are the shoes for another time.  Your new life requires new ways of thinking and new ways of thinking outside of the norm.  Habits make some situations easier as they are easy and familiar.  New habits are needed and that will take time, effort and ingenuity.  Give your Reboot as much time as you can.  It isn't just to lose more weight or to feel better.  It is also to give your mind and body time to adapt to a new way of eating, thinking and living.  You'll also train your mind to think of ingenious and adaptive ways of living in the world, yet live within your Reboot.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to use my new-found ingenuity to figure out why an idiot eats half a watermelon when he comes home from work and makes himself sick.

I am 85% through the 60 days.

Weight: 147.9 lbs.

Food: Clementines, bananas, almond butter, cherries, salad, raw cacao goji seed chunks, watermelon (way too much watermelon)

Sunday, August 28, 2011

August 28th, 2001 - Day 50 of 60

While much of what I write here on my Reboot blog has little to do in a practical sense with the mechanics of Rebooting, I do try to weave the conceptual flavor of Rebooting into the words.  I am certainly one who understands the value and need for practical, how-to types of writing.  We all need to learn and those who have done or are doing something tend to generate the sort of information those embarking on that journey crave.  But I am more than happy to defer to those more skilled than I when it comes to the nuts (raw with no salt) and bolts (don't bolt your food) of the Reboot.  I tend to wax philosophic because I am one who feels motivation and deeply understanding "the why" of things is crucial for success.  People will gladly walk to their deaths, singing a song if they feel the cause is right.  Now, while I understand that drinking juice made from Beets and Arugula and Brussels Sprouts and Okra may taste as close to death as one can come (well, equally close might be a Red Bull/Prune Juice shot, which I'd call a "Bullsh*t". It will get you running in all possible ways), I also realize that the Reboot isn't quite as dire as that.  But I most certainly DO want everyone to succeed in all aspects of their lives.  I especially want people to succeed in their Reboot, as I know that once they get a certain distance down the Reboot path, it will affect other aspects of their lives.  It is a connected series of occurrences which all flutter in the same breeze.  Think of it like Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, only we don't use bacon any more.  For example:

1) You decide to do the Reboot, but worry you are not strong-willed enough.
2) You start out whirring whatever is in your 'fridge in your old Osterizer blender.  Hey, it ain't half bad!  Oops, I think that was cheesecake I put in there.
3) Inspired by your general lack of death from your first homemade juice, you feel less fear and buy a new juicer, lots of fresh produce and walking shoes.
4) You find you love juicing and walking and feel so wonderful you can't believe it.  Within four days you decide to go for the full 60 days like Joe and Phil.
5) * Something extraordinary happens here *
6) You win the Nobel Prize, the Pulitzer Prize, the Powerball jackpot, find true love and finally learn to whistle with your fingers in your mouth.

See how easy it is?

As I write this very sentence, the center of Hurricane Irene (now a tropical storm) is as close to me as it is going to get.   This whole situation got me thinking... well,  about the things... about which I think:  motivation, natural law, optimal living methods, reality vs. perception, etc.  Our ancestors (long, long ago ancestors) didn't have real-time tracking of storms or ceramic water filters or weather-repelling radial tires or even a raincoat.  They looked around and saw something was up from the sky or inferred looming danger from the behavior of the animals or from pure instinct.  The storm would come and they would seek shelter where they could find it (caves were the favorite).  Then what did you do?  You rode out the storm.  You sit, listen to the lullaby raindrops fall and just watch life.  Or, put in less urgent terms, consider the seasons:  I've read in some places that in the Winter, before food storage was perfected and Tupperware's invention was unimagined generations away, people mainly laid around and moved as little as possible during the cold.  They would, literally, hunker down.  They didn't have chainsaws and gas-powered splitters.  Firewood was hard to come by.  You kept the temperature as warm as possible (above freezing), lay around in piles and only moved when you had to do so.  You saved energy, stored calories and reduced the possibility of injury.  You ate very little since you had very little food and subsisted on all the fat you stored by consuming all you could when it was available.  I think this ancient memory is still embedded within us and explains why we simply cannot pass up the hors d'oeuvres platter at parties whenever it comes near.  Add to this the lack of snow shovels and lack of light.  If you are like most people, when it is gray and rainy you just want to sleep.  I think that is another built-in feature of our model.

I bring all this up because Irene is knocking on my windows and asking to come in for a visit.  While I'm sure she is fine company and has many interesting stories to tell (she has traveled all over the place, after all), I am really not in a place where I can do that.  Irene has brought along waters, winds, gray skies and a general feeling of inadequacy.  So, we sit and we wait.  We read and we just allow ourselves to BE.  We put the rest of our lives in perspective and find a seed of gratitude for our general lot springing up.  And, I realize that over the past weeks I've been running around so much that I am sure the load of calories I've been eating would be taking a toll on my waistline if I spent each day like this.  The relaxations is welcome, but I know that just sitting here is not burning many calories.  But, sometimes life compels us to adjust. And that, FINALLY, is the point of this whole post.

We have to learn to adjust in our life.  We often learn it the hard way, but we will learn it.  Experience is the best teacher and the experience of others is even better if we are smart enough to understand that at a young age.  When learning to shoot, one stumbles on the concept of "Kentucky Windage".  That being the slight alteration of aim to take into account a long target distance and the intervening wind as it pertains to accuracy.  There are insane numbers of ways we've learned to adapt that we don't even consider.  How many times have you taken a class in life and had to adjust how you wrote or answered questions just to ensure you got a better grade from your teacher?  You didn't say what you really felt, but you said what you know the teacher wanted to hear to ensure you received an A+.  How many times did you alter your appearance or behavior outside of the norm to impress a date or important person?  How many times have you started a recipe and found you were missing an ingredient, so you had to wing it?  I could go on.  Thinking about the storm for me wasn't just about the obvious things, it was also about how it would affect my Reboot.  I ensured I had adequate food in case the lights went out for a prolonged period.  I understood that my energy expenditure was limited, so I adjusted a few things.  I put it into the context of general life and how we eat and why we eat and what we eat.  The Reboot, if done properly, affects EVERYTHING you do.  It is not just a physical reaction to fewer and higher quality calories.  It is understanding the natural order of things and trying one's best to live in accordance with that understanding.  Yes, the Reboot IS philosophy.  "As a man thinketh, so is he."

I have no idea what the fallout of Irene will be on my home, personal effects and life.  I'll know for certain once it is past for a day or so.  Likewise, I have no idea what the fallout of the Reboot will be on my life.  On the one hand (trying not to be overly dramatic) I feel like Neo being offered the red and blue pills.  Once you know something, you can't un-know it.  On the other hand, I am well-aware of man's incredible ability to rationalize any thought to suit his desires.  "Oh, it is just one cookie, what will it hurt?"  I do know that, like Irene, the path is uncertain and sometimes you have to just go with the flow and hope for the best.  For now, the best I can do is listen to raindrops made of water that may have come from the Caribbean.  I'll sit and listen and try to understand their purpose in my life.  And, in the midst of that, I'll know that something has changed in me based on how I have started to frame all I do in the context of my Reboot.  While it may not spark the sort of change that will give me 120 years of life, transform my body into one able to do underwear modeling or even win me the Nobel Prize, it is a sign of REAL change.  That is something we can all agree is welcome (unlike Irene).

Goodnight, Irene.

I am 80% through the 60 days.

Weight: 147.3 lbs.
I'm sure the bandage adds several pounds.

Food: Watermelon, Raw Cacao Goji Seed Chunks, Broccoli Slaw, Banana, Almond Butter, Cherries
Watermelon while reading about water is appropriate.
Neat-o!  They have my raw salsa in organic now!

Saturday, August 27, 2011

August 27th, 2011 - Day 49 of 60

I wish I had one of these things over the last couple weeks.  I'm sure when I put the device into my computer at the end of the day it would come back and tell me that, obviously, something was wrong as the data doesn't compute.  As you may be able to see on my weigh-in this morning, I had a blister on the top of my right foot.  I walked for hours straight yesterday.  Going from room to room to room to room, and from building to building.  I did it again today for a good nine hours straight.  I just didn't stop.  I can't imagine the calories I've burned.  Sadly, I am trying to make up for those calories by eating everything in sight now that I am home.

My day started by picking up a few things at the store and filling up my car in the event the hurricane decides to visit my home.  I got some fruit and veggies and a new LCD flashlight and then I went to work.  The good news is that, at this point, all the desperately crucial work is finished.  As the storm is heading our way we decided to cancel classes on Monday, so that gives me another day to tie up loose ends if need be.  I'll take the next couple weeks to deal with the less crucial work and then, hopefully, be caught up and go back into my normal mode.

While I wouldn't call this a denouement, things are leveling off.  Another way that is true, sort of, is all the hurricane hubbub.  It is all we've been hearing about for days and days.  A sure way to get people to buy your newspaper or watch your TV show is incessantly talking about danger, threats and horror.  I've heard nothing but hurricane-related speculation and worse-case scenarios for the last few days.  If I watched TV very much I'd be frantic.  Yes, hurricanes are serious, but does it really help anyone to talk about it incessantly for days on end?  Is it edifying in any way?    Sure, give the warnings and state the facts.  But, please, stop with the endless coverage of what may happen.  It is driving me nuts.  Luckily, the thing will come through tonight and tomorrow and then, hopefully, we'll get on with things.

In addition to the most crucial work and the most juiceful hurricane, another thing coming to its ending phase is my Reboot.  As I was walking around today I realized that on Monday I'll have only ten days remaining in my Reboot.  That sort of number has symbolic meaning, if nothing else. Doesn't everyone like to countdown once "10" is reached?  I thought a bit about how things were going and what I may want to do.  While I am very pleased with my Reboot, I am going to consider my options.  While I knew the food-phase wouldn't offer the same dramatic results as the liquid phase, I was hoping for more.  I feel really good and I know things are happening.  Patience is a virtue, so I may just stay the course.

In our lives there are peaks and valleys.  Most of the time is spent hiking up to the peak or ambling down into the valley.  The lingering at the zenith and the abiding at the nadir are brief.  The circuitous wandering between the two is where we spend the bulk of our time. In the space of an average work year, my insanely busy times usually don't exceed six to eight weeks.   In the space of a lifetime, disasters are few and far between.  The span of a Reboot has a few days flush with excitement.  Since it is a unique adventure I imagine my comparison isn't fair, but after a week of rebooting one tends to fall into a rhythm that almost becomes "normal".  Once the end is within sight, however, we allow our minds to look to the end and turn over the possible permutations.

I remember a time in my youth when I was the passenger in a Saab that was going across the country.  We were going through the desert in the Southwest toward Las Vegas.  There isn't much to see, so to say the ride was boring would be kind.  After endless dust and brown I spotted something in the distance.  It looked like a lit sign, but how could a lit sign be seen in the desert during the day?   The odd thing was that,  as we drove ahead, we didn't seem to get to the sign.  Apparently, this place was farther away than I assumed.  By the time we got there we had driven quite a long way.  I saw that sign from a long way off and had plenty of time to consider what it was and what it might mean to me.   It turned out it was a gas station with a very tall and very bright sign.  Still, in an endless sea of arid earth that light was a welcome distraction.  In a sea of mindless consumption, this Reboot is a welcome change.  No, this stressful and frantic time of year in the midst of my normal workload is NOT welcome.  But we need our lives punctuated with these occasional exclamation points.

So, as I get a day of rest (I hope) after a long stretch of insanity, I will consider my lasts days on this Reboot.  I may just reflect and leave it at that.  Or, I may wish to go out with a bang.  Whatever I decide, it will be out of my great affection for the previous days of mindful consumption.

The best part of the ending is knowing that a new beginning shows up to introduce itself.

I am 80% through the 60 days.

Weight: 147.4 lbs.
Blister boo-boo on my right foot.  :(

 Food: Watermelon, Fresh Mixed Fruit, Raw Cacao/Goji/Seed Chunks, Broccoli Slaw, Cherries
This was SO good.

Friday, August 26, 2011

August 26th, 2011 - Day 48 of 60

This will be another of those posts that will barely make it in under the wire.  Today was longer than yesterday and yesterday was too long.  My head is swimming and I am so amped up on Raw Cacao Goji Seed Chunks that I may not sleep for days.  The workload is astronomical in scope.  It will not be done in the time frame I'd like, but it will be close.  The laws of physics apply here as they do everywhere.  If I had a few people working with me that were as...  what are the words I want to use... were as driven to deliver high quality products in as compressed a time frame as I, things would be done.  As it stands I am the orchestra leader for this work.  You have to see many things at once and understand how it all comes together.  Some of that is genetic, some is experience and some is dumb luck.

The layers and layers of complexity that we deal with are staggering.  While it isn't brain surgery, rocket science or even rocket surgery, it is complex and it is exhausting.  These days I think it is every bit as physically demanding as it is mentally demanding.  I came home late yesterday and wondered why my fingers felt stiff.  I realize that I just don't stop once I get to work and I am walking so much and so fast, I am swinging the fluids into my extremities.  Damned law of physics, again!

Things would be better if everyone listened to me.  No, not about everything, just about my little section in my little world.  I've told everyone for over twenty years how best to deal with things, but the layers of complexity and bureaucracy make it almost impossible to get things done well.  Never-ending arguments over "who is going to pay for this" and "which job has priority" and "why do they have this while we only have this" and other nonsense.  I'm sure everyone who works for or with others understands this.

In my head I have a vision for how things work.  The vision is a large-scale plan.  The "big picture", if you will.   Within that big picture is the striking detail into which my thoughts zoom when I have to actually deal with that task at the moment.  The translation from big-picture to details isn't that bad for me.  I am the sort of person who thinks things through exhaustively.  As an introvert, I have likely planned an entire activity before I ever mention it to anyone.  And, once it is mentioned that means it is going to happen.  Why?  Because I do not want to be or even be perceived as one of those people who says something but doesn't deliver or never follows through. Extroverts tend to do that, but not because they are scattered or liars.  They do it because that is how they brain-storm.  They throw it out there and see what people say.  "I think I am going to backpack naked across Nepal!"  They wait to see the reaction.  My dad is classic extrovert. Always going to do something, go somewhere, etc.  You'll know what I am doing when I am doing it.  If I need someone's opinion, I'll ask.  Sadly, in the case of my work, too many people stand between me and my vision.

With your Reboot, you need a vision.  You need to fully understand the concepts, fully understand the implementation of those concepts and fully understand the requirements of implementing those concepts.  You need to understand what a Reboot is.  You need to determine if you really can do it, or if you are just excited and hope you'll "get into it."  You need to realize that making juice takes time, energy and money.  You need to realize that if you have a family, they will probably not be Rebooting with you and that might be awkward or tempting or worse.  You need to realize that you'll be shopping a lot.  You need to see that a good juicer or blender is priceless.  You need to see that clean-up time is longer than you think.  You need to do several "dry runs" (or, as I call them, "wet runs" since you actually make juice.  But I don't call them that out loud for obvious reasons).  You have to visualize the amount of juice you'll need, when you'll be able to make it and from what other activity does that time come.  You need to plan for social engagements and other settings where food or the lack of you eating it could be troublesome.  You need to imagine how your Reboot will apply to your work.  Do you eat out a lot at work?  Is there a cafeteria?  Is there a kitchen or refrigerator where you can store your juice?  Do you, in fact, have anything appropriate into which you can put your juice?  Do you have enough of them?

You get the picture.  This is how my brain works all the time.  Ever sorting, sizing-up, considering, planning and processing.  Yes, it can be exhausting.  I guess that is why I do yoga.  But that is the sort of thinking that helps me in my work.  It also helps me in my Reboot.  I've never been without food or resources for my nutrition.  It has all gone well.

Everyone is different and what works for you may not be something I'd even consider.  As long as you are happy and getting the results you want, I am happy for you.  But I maintain that above all other things (fancy juicers, a nice "Rebooting" web page, eight books of juice recipes and even an autographed photo of Joe Cross on your refrigerator) NOTHING will help you more with your Reboot than the right mental attitude and mindset going in to the game.  If you've not solidified everything in your mind, you are on shaky ground.  Make up your mind, make your plan and make it happen.  That will get your through your Reboot and perhaps a few other things in life.

Right now, I have made up my mind to go to bed.  I have a feeling that task is a bit easier than making "Turnip Pistachio Horseradish Energy Juice".

I am 80% through the 60 days.

Weight: 148.3 lbs.
I seem to be hovering in this range.

Food: Smoothie, apple, banana, almond butter, almonds, raw cacao/goji/seed chunks, cherries.