August 20th, 2011 - Day 42 of 60

I love my work.  I will say that working in general has become difficult, but I still love what I do.  I will stop working as soon as I can because I have ten-thousand other things I want to do in life, but I don't dread getting up to work.  I do dread getting up and putting up with the crap that goes with work, but I guess we all do.  Things are not managed well and there is always too much required of me.  That can lead to stress.  Strike that, is DOES lead to stress.  You ask too much of someone and it can tax them to the point of reduced efficiency.  They will miss little things that can lead to big problems.  Overlooking even a small thing might lead to serious issues in your systems.  If you don't give workers the tools or training they need it will frustrate them and the results will be less than optimal.  If you don't ensure they are working reasonable hours and take some time off, they will burn out.  I thought of these things in passing as I was working today.  I normally don't work on Saturday but my workload is such that I have no choice.  Hopefully, this extra work phase will only last for a short time and I'll go back to normal sometime in September.

This whole concept is directly applicable to your food life.  Most people love to eat.  They may not like the political crap that goes with eating (eat your vegetables, don't eat too much junk, etc.) but we sure do love our food.  If we eat too much, we can overtax our bodies and they will not work as efficiently.  After prolonged overconsumption we can cause a breakdown of vital processes that can lead to illness.  If people are not trained how to eat properly, they will assume they are doing alright.  I had direct experience with this as a few people at work were "bragging" about eating well by holding up a certain food as a "health food."  I gave them the evil eye, but I didn't want to discourage them.  I asked them a few questions that I hoped would get them thinking.  I believe people should have treats occasionally to reward good behavior (I'm not a prude) but treats as a lifestyle are not productive.  Overeating makes the body work too hard.  It is very hard work to process a large amount of heavy food.  We get sluggish, run-down and overweight.  Sometimes your body needs time-off from its labors.  For some that means a REAL time-off with fasting.  For others, the Reboot is the perfect bodily vacation.  Less food to digest, less stress over what to eat, proper nutrition ensures you get what you need and revitalizing energy returns to motivate you.  And, after a nice Reboot, you may return refreshed to your labors and with a new perspective on food.

I am sure I'll see a couple more Saturdays with work on my calendar, but I can cope.  I am hoping that my body doesn't feel overworked and under-appreciated as many of you might feel in your jobs.  I wouldn't want my body to go on strike or, heaven forbid, up and quit on me.  Balance at work and balance in diet: eerily similar and both vitally important to good health.  We may not feel like we have much control over work, but we certainly have control over our diet.  So, if you are not Rebooting, go to your boss (that is you) and ask for a raise, of sorts.  Insist on a Reboot.  If you are already Rebooting, congratulate yourself for treating your employee (that is you, too) so well.  Know that your intelligent management will reap long-term benefits for your business.

This Reboot is one job I will miss when I retire from it.  I will look back upon it with fond memories.  I'm sure I'll be able to get some part-time Reboot work, too, as I have a lot of experience. :)

Progress:

I am 70% through the 60 days.

Weight: 149.4 lbs.

Down a bit again.  Hope the trend continues.

Food: Cherries, Banana, Almond Butter, Nuts, Raw Cacao/Goji/Seed Chunks, Big Salad

Big salad I made after slaving all day at work.

August 19th, 2011 - Day 41 of 60

I am not very good with surprises.  Let me clarify that: I am pretty good at surprising people, but people, as a rule, are not very good at surprising me.  Now I am not talking about someone jumping out from behind a bush and shouting.  That isn't surprising someone or witty, that is being a jejune ass.  I am talking about the sort of surprise where you find the right gift, throw a nice party, pick the right food, etc.  I find that, most of the time, people try hard to surprise me, but don't.  I am an odd duck, no doubt about that, but if you bumped into me at the store or while riding on the train, there is nothing unusual about me and I fit in like everyone else.  So, I am not sure why it is that people are not very good a surprising me.  You have to know someone fairly well or be very perceptive to be able to surprise people.  And, the longer you know someone, the harder it is to surprise them as you know each other so well you either use up your surprises or you just can't fool the other person as they see right through you.  I don't need to be surprised, but I am just stating this as a fact (from my perception) about myself.  Still, a good surprise is one of those things that stick with you.

Now a bad surprise, well they stick with you, too.  Not in the way you'd like, but they do stick with you.  Take my last few days at work, they've been full of a few surprises, to say the least.  This is my busiest time of year for work, so I am working a lot of overtime and my pace is whatever the next notch above "frenetic" reads on the knob that controls my body.  One surprise was not too horrid, but it required me to postpone a job for a day in order to secure the proper software.  Today's surprise, however, was not as benign.  As I was seeing to some system in the downstairs portion of the building, a heard a knock at the door and found a woman with a rather concerned look on her face peer at me.  She asked if I was doing anything that would cause her computer to turn off.  While I may have such powers, I was not exercising them at that time.  After I questioned her, it sounded as if her machine did, in fact turn off.  Once that realization hit me, I must have turned a lighter shade of white (and I am pretty fair-skinned).  At that time I had a large number of machines churning out a process that takes hours.  I bolted up the stairs to find that my worst fears were realized.  The power was out and it took out my machines as well.  In the end, it looks as though a person making a copy was the straw that broke the camel's back and the power went down.  I always seem to be the person who discovers when the electrical service isn't quite robust enough for an area.  I'm sure they will be putting in a new service in the near future, but that didn't help me today.  Hours of work were gone and I had to start over.  Needless to say, I wasn't happy.

Once the whole thing was begun again, I decided to go have lunch with my partner.  We'd been working very hard these last weeks on many systems and lunch was becoming a luxury rather than a necessity.  Add to that the fact that I don't think I've eaten lunch out since I started the Reboot and that made it all the better.  I've had a few smoothies and juices out, but that is it. We were heading down the road when I stopped in a place we'd not frequented.  The place had the decor that would remind one of a swanky 60's movie.  We decided to sit at the bar.  The first good surprise of my day was that I didn't feel in the least bit tempted to drink.  The thought of filling up with beer wasn't at all appealing.  I opened the menu and it was a very nice selection, but there really wasn't anything raw and vegan on the menu.  I saw a few lovely salads, but they all had meat, cheese, grains, etc.  I picked one that sounded very good and asked if they could make it vegan.  "Absolutely," our bartender told us, as if they did it ten times a day.  It was a delightful salad whose picture I've included below where I normally display any food I remembered to photograph.  Tons of fresh veggies, some tropical fruit and a fruit dressing.   Quite a nice surprise.  My friend had a salad as well, but with chicken and a more Asian theme. He was very happy (and he is quite a foodie).  When he was finished, he must have pushed aside a quarter pound or more of chicken that he couldn't eat (that is above the chicken he did eat).  It is nice to be surprised, especially after a morning of.. well, surprises.

After lunch things went slowly, but we plowed through them.  I have to say, I was full of energy and didn't slow down at all.  This is my last surprise for the day:  I am feeling so good on this Reboot that I don't want it to end.  I feel light (not as light as when I am on liquid-only, but pretty light), energetic and that HUGE hill walking up to my office doesn't seem so difficult.  These last couple weeks have been hard and I'll be doing lots more overtime in the next couple weeks as well.  But I feel like my Reboot, some fruit, some nuts, some water and some luck will help me sail through with flying colors.  Of all the surprises I've had over the last year, this Reboot has been the most amazing.  To feel so good is a blessing.  I know I can do better and it will take time, but the distance I've come in the short time I've been doing this is nothing short of miraculous.  That makes any difficulties or inconveniences all worth it.

So, while I am not generally a fan of surprises, the last few have not been too bad.  I could've done without the bad one, but I think that led to the other good ones.  I think the karmic wheel has righted itself again in my favor.  And that is  the sort of surprise I will take anytime.

Progress:

I am 65% through the 60 days.

Weight: 150.0 lbs.

Went down again.  That was a nice surprise. :)

Food: Cherries (lots of them), banana, almond butter, lovely salad, broccoli slaw, raw cacao/goji/seed chunks

It was piled up, but I knocked it down to photograph it.

August 18th, 2011 - Day 40 of 60

The stock market was down again today.  I expect more of that to come.  I recall so many of my friends telling me to jump into the stock market back a few years ago.  I recall that January the market was around 14000.  I have a retirement account, IRAs, college fund for the grandkids, etc. but have not been interested in the market as a means of getting rich.  It is gambling, plain and simple. I spoke with a co-worker last week who told me she was losing money after 15 or 20 years of investing in what is generally considered a safe and reliable fund. Sure, it can pay off if you know what you are doing, but there is something that is unseemly about a corporation's primary concern being to its stockholders and not to the community-at-large.  That tells me if shareholder profits can be increased by laying off my neighbors even though the corporation makes a profit now, they will do it.  That is insanity.  Yet, it happens all the time.  So, when I see the volatility of the market I am not surprised.  I am just surprised the smoke and mirrors have lasted this long.

So, while the stock market is down, prices for your food are up.  Prices for all food is up, some worse than others.  I'm going to stick in a chart for your consideration:

These are recent figures on food and commodity prices from the World Bank.  The good news is that prices have fallen somewhat from their peak in February of this year (2011 if you are reading this sometime in the future).  The bad news is that most food is up about 33% from last year at this time.  Some things are up even higher (corn is up 84%, sugar is up 62%, wheat is up 55%, etc.).  That is insane.  Why do we have 4 trillion dollars to bail out every greedy bank, investment house, insurance company, auto company, mortgage company and who knows who else, but we can't provide a subsidy for the American family so they can afford good food rather than less-expensive, processed crap?  I hope a lot of you out there reading this are getting 30%, 40% or 50% raises so you can keep up on your food bill.   I know I'm not.

A week or so ago on NPR I was listening to a short story being read about an African woman who comes to America to try and make a living.  She writes back to her parents that "the rich people are thin and the poor people are fat."  That line was noteworthy as it is usually the other way around in her country.  When you are poor in Africa you don't eat.  In the United States if you are poor you eat starchy, sugary, processed and highly refined foods as they are less expensive.    Anyone who has priced organic produce knows that it isn't cheap.  Compare that to a box of spaghetti and a store-brand jar of sauce and you'll see why many people who are having money troubles will skip the produce aisle altogether.  It is hard enough to buy organic produce and meats when you are single and have a decent job.  When you are unemployed, under-employed or employed and poor, you can't do it when you have kids, rent or a mortgage, etc.

I only bring this up today as the endless news about market troubles and hard times seem to be overshadowing everything.    It is news like that which can bring people down and discourage them from their Reboot.   The cost of eating well is staggeringly high.  The cost of a Reboot is no small investment.  But when compared to poor health and general unhappiness, the cost is well worth it.

I have a lot of boutique watermelons in my garden that will be ready to eat soon.  I figure to purchase them would cost me somewhere around one hundred dollars.  But the cost of the seeds over a two year period was around five dollars.  That is a pretty good return on investment.   As a crappy watermelon in the supermarket goes for around $6, I could sell my smaller, yet profoundly more delicious and organic melons for $5 to $8 and no one around here would bat an eye over that price.  One taste is all you need.  So, while the stock market is going up, food prices are going up, tensions are going up and the cost of a Reboot is going way, way up, I am sticking to my guns.  What I am saving in luxury foods, desserts, eating out, drinking beer, etc., is more than making up for my Reboot food costs.  I'm investing in the one thing I know will give me good returns: my health.  Wall Street can worry about itself, I am putting my money in the organic food market rather than the stock market.  Guaranteed growth (even if there are a few bugs here and there).


Progress:

I am 65% through the 60 days.

Weight: 151.1 lbs.

Up again.

Food: Grapes, bananas, almond butter, mixed nuts, Smoothie, broccoli slaw

Long time, no see.

August 17th, 2011 - Day 39 of 60

I am starting to wonder if I should really trust my body.  When I think about all the advice I hear regarding health and even advice I've even given to others (which, of course, is completely insane) it is not unusual to hear the phrase "listen to your body".  That is the sort of Oprahesque phrase I'd expect to hear bandied about in a yoga studio catering to senior citizens.  (Note: I'm not really down on Oprah, I just can seem to pass up appending "esque" to words when the opportunity arises.)  Wasn't listening to my body the very thing that got me to the point where I needed a Reboot in the first place?  When people say "listen to your body", I sometimes think it is code for, "Well, that isn't what I'd do, but I don't want to be morally, legally or financially liable for what is obviously going to happen to you as you are clueless."  Our body is good at telling us when it is in pain, when it is tired, when it is itchy, etc.  I just wish it was clearer on things like what we shouldn't eat or how much exercise is good.  I've been the sort of person who has pushed their bodies to extremes over the years.  In some of my past athletic endeavors I've run excessively, lifted weights excessively, dieted excessively, etc.  Not because I feel I am an "excessive" personality, but because I've been led to believe it is what my body really wants if I'd only listen. 

I know that, on paper, listening to one's body is a good idea.  The problem is either our bodies are all male and not very communicative or they are clueless and just say the first thing that comes to their head.  Do you know people like that?  The sort who just make up something when they have no idea what they are talking about?  If you asked them, "How should I fix this leaky pipe?" they will just up and say the first stupid thing that comes to mind.  "Oh, I'd take a handful of quarters, duct tape them over the leak and then weld it closed with a torch." And it isn't like they are intentionally lying or trying to give bad advice, it is just that they feel it "makes sense".  But the reality is they don't have a clue and they don't have the sense to know they don't have a clue.  Not only will they give you advice, but they'll say it with such confidence and bravado that no one would even suspect they are stupid.  "Oh, yeah, you should always rub tapioca on your dog.  It is very good for their coat, it keeps fleas and ticks away and helps them see in the dark." 

I am starting to wonder if my body is really that sort of guy.  Now, I can tell you that *I* am NOT that sort of person.  If I don't know something, I'll tell you that I don't know.  I may have an opinion, but that is a far cry from what I am discussing here.  But my body, I really don't know.  Our body loves to tell us to eat more.  If there is a go-to answer for our bodies, it is "more."  The body must be truly separate from the mind as it just doesn't seem to remember what happened the last time we had "more" booze or "more" sun or "more" Taco Bell or "more" touch football at the family reunion.  I have to assume our brains do not consider themselves a part of the body or vice-versa.  In fact, if anything seems reasonable it is that last statement.  Our brains are always plotting a way out of the body as they know the body is always putting it into dire danger.  That is why really stupid people are consider to have their brains in their ass.  It makes sense as it seems like the only reasonable escape route for a desperate brain that lives in fear.  If the brain and the body spoke to each other we'd do things in a much more reasonable manner.  But, as everyone knows, we live in a world where someone has to tell you not to pour that cup of coffee on your lap as it is very, very hot.

I started to think about this today as I was concerned about my water intake.  I bring water to work each day and I never seem to feel the need to drink it.  Now, that doesn't seem too out of line as I eat a lot of fruit and vegetables.  Those are loaded with water.  Still, you'd think I'd get thirsty once in a while.  I am not eating any salt and pretty much all my food is "raw", so I guess that makes it lean toward the hydrated side of the spectrum.  I am trying to think of foods that might induce thirst... well, anything with salt, of course.  But crackers come to mind right away.  Breakfast cereals.  A big brick of Shredded Wheat. That seems like the driest food on earth.  It even looks like a tumbleweed.  Anyway, I am not eating any of that.  I am eating nuts, but without salt, raw and not enough, evidently, to make a difference.

I am going to refrain from researching water intake as I know exactly what will happen.  I will Google it, find 87,000 articles in women's magazines and men's health magazines that tell me that I am not drinking enough water no matter how much I am drinking (especially water from a certain company).  They will tell me all the things that water does for me, my hair, my skin, etc.  Then I'll get some hits from natural health experts that tell me that if my diet was correct and my frame of mind was focused I could absorb the water from the air.  If I've not achieved that state of mental fitness, they'd gladly sell me the secret for a nominal price.  Then I'd find dozens of people who will tell me how they found love after drinking more water, discovered themselves after drinking water and even got a promotion after drinking water.  Then there are the stories about their parent or best friend or their best friend's Chiropractor's tennis pro.  Then, in the end, most of them will say, "listen to your body". 

Why doesn't the human body come with a hydrometer?  I think our belly-buttons should pop out when we have enough water and then retreat when we are dehydrated.  I also think it should make an audible "pop" when we need water so we get the message.  I think a number strange things are perfectly reasonable.  Did I ever tell you that it is a good idea to rub tapioca on your dog?


Progress:

I am 65% through the 60 days.

Weight:  149.4 lbs.

Down a little bit from yesterday.

Food: Mixed melon/pineapple, cherries, banana, almond butter, nuts, broccoli slaw

And this beauty: Cacao Goji Energy Cube.  All raw!

August 16th, 2011 - Day 38 of 60

While I'm certain "Rebooting" in the form we discuss here is new to us, the term "Reboot" is not that new.  The term was primarily used in computer parlance to describe the process of restarting the machine.  The term "boot" was to signify the machine starting or "pulling itself up by its bootstraps".   Not a very old term, to be sure.  And, given English's predisposition for amusing mutation, it didn't take long for "Reboot" to find another meaning.

I've long been a "Star Trek" fan.  I remember the series when it was originally on TV.  It was so impressive I was allowed to stay up late to watch.  Time passed, a movie was made and then another and then another TV show (and then a few of those) and then more movies.  After a while the whole thing became bogged down in hype, overuse and lack of nurturing.  Then someone got the bright idea to "Reboot" the series.  The cast of the original series was too old and the newer series didn't hold the imagination of the movie audience.  So, what do you do when you have no other option?  You reboot.  I have no idea if they will continue on with the series, but I found the 2009 reboot of "Star Trek" to be no worse than most of the movies they have made (although "The Wrath of Kahn" is sacred viewing).

Tonight I was able to view the next installment of the "Planet of the Apes" reboot called "Rise of the Planet of the Apes".  I was pleasantly surprised.  I wasn't expecting much more than apes running around causing havoc and maybe smoking the odd cigar.  Instead I was treated to a film that was much more thoughtful and respectful of the audience than I anticipated.  True characters and relationships and philosophical conundrums.  I won't spoil it for anyone who has contemplated seeing it but figured it was just apes putting man in his place.   You might like it more than you imagined.

And, that word, "imagined", is tangentially related to the whole topic of this evening: Rebooting.  As I make my living from technology, the standard term is the one with which I am most familiar.  The film-related definition is one we all understand and is the one that caught my eye this evening. The subject of that film also deals with rebooting of a sort.  That reboot was of the order of the planet.  And now, our small and growing band of Rebooters have a new meaning to bring to the term.  When the machine is sputtering and slowing down, you reboot.  When the movie series is sputtering and slowing down, you reboot.  When your life and your body is sputtering and slowing down, you reboot.  It works.  The control + alt + delete process is in full swing here and still moving forward.  It takes a bit to reboot a machine.  It has to check over things and make sure they are all there.  It has to load things over and clean out that corrupted and sluggish memory.  Our bodies are no different.  Like a tired old series, I am getting new life breathed into me.  Like a computer that won't stop popping-up ads for Viagra, I am performing a procedure that will make me run better and faster and more reliably.  And, like this evening's film, our Reboot has surprised me in its quality and thought-provoking nature.

I also recalled that apes eat pretty much the way I'm eating right now, so I felt a special kinship with them.  If that mountain gorilla can get so big from plants and fruits and the occasional bug, I figure I can't be doing too terribly on my diet.  No one would tease him for being a raw vegan.  So, while tonight's film was enjoyable, I'll have to say that my favorite spin on the "Planet of the Apes" series will always be this.

So, all our "monkeying around" with our diets, computers and film series is designed to take what we have and make it better.  This Reboot may not make us better in the Darwinian sense, but we may be taking a step toward finding the missing link in our dietary evolution.


Progress:

I am 60% through the 60 days.

Weight: 149.7 lbs.

Weight is still creeping up.  Hope it stops soon.

Food:  Peach, apple, tossed salad, banana, almond butter, nuts, broccoli slaw

No photos of my dinner, just this food for thought.

August 15th, 2011 - Day 37 of 60

Time is the universe's way of preventing everything from happening at once.

When I was a youngster there was a game show on TV called "Beat the Clock".  I know it has undergone various rebirths, so many may be familiar with it.  The crux of the game was a contestant is given a stunt or task to perform within a certain period of time.  This could be as simple as moving spoonfuls of sugar across the room and into a container until such time as the container's weight triggered a mechanism that released a balloon.  Sometimes the stunts were very simple and sometimes they were crazy.  But the star of the show was always the clock.  It was huge, ominous and always in your face.  If I asked you to do most of the stunts from the show, you'd have no issue.  But once you put in that time limit, something happens inside and fine motor skills seem to diminish.  The most fun was when the contestant was close to their goal but then noticed their allotment of time was dwindling.  The studio audience, of course, was whipped into a frenzy and would scream louder and louder as the time limit was approaching.  When those moments came, many contestants would be so distracted by the short amount of time remaining that whatever motor-skills they possessed were quickly diminished and failing. In the end, the buzzer would sound, telling them their time and their hope was now gone.

From our earliest days we are nurtured to make some sort of peace with time.  From the moment we draw our first breath we know that, somewhere, a clock starts.  And when you think about it, 10 years, 75 years or 120 years are all just drops in the bucket in the face of the cosmos.  Still, time is precious and if we learn anything about time it is that we shouldn't squander it.  Time is massively affected by perception.  We can spend a weekend with friends and wonder where the time went.  We can spend an hour in a sales meeting and wonder if we'll ever get out alive.  Many people live in such a way that they are wishing their lives away.  Everything they hope for is always in some distant time.  "Once I graduate..."  "When I get that job..."  "After I get a promotion..."  "After we are married..."  "Once the kids grow up..."  Etc.  This is a way of avoiding the now, which makes our lives dribble away at a faster rate.  No, I am not saying that planning for the future is foolish, but I am saying that living in the future means you are missing the present.

When it comes to the segmenting of our time, modern society likes to break our allotment into nice... well, "bite size" pieces.  We have breakfast, lunch and dinner times.  They are all spaced out nicely to facilitate our feeding and not interfere with TV shows.  We also change our diet based on our time on earth.  Infants don't eat what toddlers eat.  Toddlers don't eat what adolescents eat.  Adults get to eat things children don't eat.  Elderly people eat differently than when they were younger.  Time and food seem to be inextricably bound.  Most has an expiration date.  Some foods are even eaten a certain times (like breakfast cereal). You will often notice that people who rarely look at a clock will start to care about time when food is in the offering.  "How long until dinner?"  "What time does the restaurant open?"  "How long do I have to cook this?"

In the early part of my Reboot, I felt like I had to consume something every five minutes.  I'd look up at the clock and a good three hours would have passed.  Time for another smoothie.  Ugh!  I then let the number of smoothies decrease a bit toward the end as it was becoming a nuisance.  Now that I am back on solid food, albeit raw and vegan only for the second half of my Reboot, I feel like I am not eating enough.  Now, I've not limited myself in any way other than raw and vegan for the remainder of the Reboot.  That means I can eat 24/7 if I'd like.  But the realities of life and work and genetics compel me to at least try to be reasonable.  The first 30 days were easy.  These last 30 are proving to be a pain in the ass. Now, I understand that the prep time for my meals is negligible and clean-up time is the same.  I am saving an enormous amount of time by eating this way.  Even so, I think I am committing that most abominable of sins: not being here now.  My mind keeps wandering off to September 8th when my Reboot will be over.  It isn't even that I want it to be over, really.  It is just that life will seem to be easier.  That isn't true, but for whatever reason that is how my brain is working.  

So, in all, things are going very well so I don't even know why I am bringing this up.  Maybe that is the problem?  Maybe when things go too well you are always looking over your shoulder, or at the clock?  I guess I just need to let things settle into their own groove.  Once the Reboot is over, I'll be in a place where there is no clock to examine.  It will all be open-ended.  How will I react to no time limit?  And, by Rebooting, am I attempting to beat another sort of clock from another sort of old TV show?  The sands flowing through the hourglass of the days of my life? Sadly, I won't be able to deal with that question now as I am out of time.  Thanks for playing our game.

Readers of "Frank Black Reboots" receive the home edition of "Beat the Clock" 

(Subject to availability and mood of Frank Black. Void where prohibited or in oxygen/nitrogen atmospheres.  Never drive immediately after reading "Frank Black Reboots" or operate heavy machinery.  Always flush several times after depositing dead spiders in the toilet.  Staring directly into "Frank Black Reboots" may cause blindness.  Dilute, dilute, dilute!")

Progress:

I am 60% through the 60 days.

Weight: 148.5 lbs.

Up a bit more.  I hope to peak soon.

Food: Cherries, grapes, nuts, banana, almond butter, salad and broccoli slaw

August 14th, 2011 - Day 36 of 60

At this point, the best way I can describe how I am feeling is like someone who doesn't know what to do with their hands.  You know the type, standing in the corner and desperately trying to look casual and normal while doing nothing but reinforcing how unwieldy they really are. The odd thing is that I felt the most "normal" when I was just doing smoothies.  That phase, of course, is the most unnatural part of the gig.  But now, in this awkward 'tween stage, I am starting to feel like I am waiting for things to just end so I can get on with it (whatever "it" is). I am the bad haircut that needs to grow out so something can be done with it.  Dodging social engagements and other temptations is a lot more work than I imagined.

As I examine it, I am having a hard time figuring out why this might be.  There is no good reason.  I think part of the reason might be my tongue has not caught up to my brain.  Perhaps it is analogous to the city dweller going into the country and finding themselves unable to sleep for all the quiet?  I went to the grocery store a couple hours ago because I needed bananas.  I didn't need anything else, but I really, really needed those bananas.  So, list in hand, I entered the store and found myself mentally crossing off all the things I wasn't able to purchase.  Normally, I just look at the list and shop.  I have enough produce at home, but that didn't stop me from lingering in the produce aisle.  It was filled with familiar and non-threatening friends, while the rest of the store was rife with dangerous characters.  I tried to mentally conjure what it was like living so very long ago when there wasn't a supermarket within driving distance.  I wondered what it must have been like not to have a choice between, literally, hundreds of chocolate products in one place.  I tried to fathom a time when seeing tons of fresh produce spread out before you was nothing more than a fantasy.  I tried to wrap my head head around not having access to the cuisine of foreign lands within minutes of being on your tongue. When your body has been so conditioned to eat whatever it wants, whenever it wants, the idea that so many choices may not be such a wonderful thing after all is not so far-fetched. It helps when you know most of this uneasiness is in your head.  You can look at the feeling, name it, and then remind yourself that you will most certainly live without a roast beef sandwich.

A steady rain has droned on and on for the last 18 or so hours.  The rain convinces you to remain quiet and immobile.  That makes your mind the most active part of your body.  When your mind has free time it can get into trouble.  And, obviously, it wants to bring the rest of the body along for the ride.  It makes you think about the food you are eating, the food you are not eating and all the reasons why it doesn't matter.  But, as I am fond of saying, everything matters.  Giving your mind freedom to wander is one thing; giving it the keys to your mouth is another.  After my shopping sojourn I found that a couple bananas with almond butter quieted all the chirpy parts of myself. 

The world is not configured for raw vegans.  The next 24 days will be much more challenging than I anticipated. I've eaten raw vegan for months at a time and never had issues like this.  It is at times like these that I understand why some people prefer life behind bars rather than out in the world.  When you are free to eat whatever you wish or are able to do whatever you wish, such choices can be paralyzing for some.  But when you are told when and how to do everything, life takes on a comfortable... well, freedom. 

"What will it be today, sir?  Smoothie?  Excellent choice.  It is our most popular item."

Progress: 

I am 60% through the 60 days.

Weight: 147.9 lbs.

Held steady.

Food: Cherries, Watermelon, Bananas, Salad, Nuts and Raw Cacao/Goji treats.

Vegan sashimi: watermelon

This will get you through anything.