Sunday, July 10, 2011

July 10th, 2011 - Day 01 of 60

There is nothing mystical or deep about this.  All that is happening is a man eating good, whole foods again against the wishes of his primitive self and his society around him.  Well, maybe that IS kind of radical? This isn't anything really new to me as I've done this all before.  Two years ago I began eating raw vegan.  It was in May.  By June I decided to eat nothing but raw vegan.  By the time my birthday came around in September I had, somehow, dropped a lot of weight (which wasn't my goal) and felt better than I'd felt in years.  The seeds of that diet were planted on a beach in Florida.  I wasn't feeling as well as I should and knew it was due to my lack of exercise and my diet.  A few years earlier I was in the best shape of my life.  I'd been working out since my early 20's.  Ate lots of good food.  Even ground our own wheat for bread.  You get the idea.  Fast forward twenty some years. Even though I was in my 40's I was doing very well. Then, a couple of surgeries (nothing very serious) side-tracked me.  That led me to gain some weight and lose my fitness level.  That made me sad.  That made me eat and drink.  That made me happy! :)  Of course, like any party, it has to come to an end.  So, that walk on the beach in Florida whispered to me that I didn't have to drink anymore if I didn't want to do so.  I didn't, so I stopped for about nine months.  I never intended to stop forever, but long enough to get myself into some kind of shape.  Let me say that I honestly never felt better as I did after those months of eating raw vegan.  I was not as fit as I was before, but I never felt better.  So what happened?  Well, the social and family pressures became too great.  I had no real support. Those around me thought something was wrong.  Nothing was wrong.  I wasn't starving.  For goodness' sake I was eating CONSTANTLY.  I went through nuts and nut butters, bananas, fruits, greens and freakin' cacao treats like I had 14 rectums.  Even though I was eating constantly, I was losing weight.  But I felt like a bazillion dollars.  Lots of energy and like I had control.  Alas, the pressures of family won out.  It is socially acceptable to drink too much and eat too much of the wrong foods, but not to be too fit and eat only raw vegan.  And, let me be clear, this wasn't my "religion", it was a personal choice.  I don't care what you eat.  Well, I do, but I don't.  If you want to eat Doritos then I'll even buy them for you if you ask.  This is your life.  So, it wasn't like I was a zealot.  I didn't even tell anyone.  My family knew, of course, but no one else.  But you can't turn down pizza and beer and chocolate forever, can you?  If so, you are weird.  I don't mind being weird, but I do mind making my family feel uncomfortable.  So, I lapsed.  Thirty pounds later I am walking on that beach again, but in my mind.  Too much booze, too much crappy food.  I still mainly eat fruit and veg during the day, but I have been hitting the rest too much lately (especially the booze).  My emotions took the wheel of my appetite a few months ago and things have gotten out of control.  I am going to be doing the driving for a bit.  I don't really know where I am headed.  That isn't the point right now.  All I want to do is make some changes before my next birthday which happens to be 60 days from today.  So, I am not sure what I'll do but the worst I can say is that I'll be thinking about it. I'll figure it out as I go along.  This isn't me teary-eyed and banging the table, swearing that I'll never be sick or fat again.  No music, no sunrises, no promises through broken sobs.  This is just me looking myself in the eye, quietly, with a knowing nod.  I know what I have to do.  You know what you have to do.  Let's do it.  It is all good.

I'll post when I can.

I am 0% through the 60 days.

Weight: 171 lbs

Food: Fruit/Veg juice, Fruit/Veg smoothie with Hemp Seed

1 comment:

  1. Hello Frank!
    Thank you for starting this blog. You have a beautiful way of writing. I am starting a 30 day juice fast in a couple weeks and its so nice to read about your experience even just a couple days in. I appreciate your want and determination in this. I wish you all the luck and health :-) I hope you don't mind me coming back to check on you!