I don't know if there are certain foods, sounds, smells and phrases that seem to manifest a feeling of unease when one ages. I don't seem to be able to linger in a room full of people who are in the age range of teen-agers to young adults (sounds like a couple reading sections in the library). They are wonderful. This isn't about not liking them and their energy and their virgin optimism. And, like a herd of scorpions or giant spiders, they aren't as bad when you get them cut-off from the swarm and can deal with them individually. Alone, they are calmer and more vulnerable. But when they go around in their packs, the chemistry changes. Wafting pheromones may have something to do with it. I also have a theory that people have invisible blood that issues forth when they are vulnerable. A modern-day version of Jesus' hematidrosis. Youth are crazed over vampires for a reason, as they develop this invisible blood-lust that seems maddening and insatiable during this age range. When they get together, their speech grows more rapid, the cadence is more staccato and the volume swells in decibels. They appear to think that eight people can speak simultaneously, constantly, loudly and inanely while still being heard and understood. They feel that subjects can change as quickly as lanes on the Interstate and no one will suffer conversational whiplash. Among gaggles of the same-sex, it is even worse. Men posture within the herd for breeding rights or something. Even in the nerd caste this odd behavior exists. I know it isn't for breeding rights and it isn't for the right of the choicest portions of the kill. I have no idea what it is for? Perhaps special and rare cards for some wizardry game or credits for an online game? All I know is that I find it difficult to be within their energy zone for too long. I don't mind the music. I don't mind the fashion. This isn't all that different from my child's youth, my youth and my parent's youth. This is just about being in the "Posturing Proximity". Can't take it.
What else can't I take? Oh, the overuse of the word "awesome". That is a reserved word for moments of slack-jawed inadequacy. For the dumbfounded inability to utter a syllable that will add to the value of a moment or coherently describe the moment in any way that gives it justice. But one other thing that really gets to me is the whole concept of "favorite". Yes, yes, I understand the concept. But I simply don't understand the incessant need to rate, rank and evaluate every stray experience in our lives. The Internet is littered with such places. How can one sunset best another? Yes, the first kiss may be the most anticipated and the most flush-inducing, but will it be "the best?" And, when they speak of things being "the best", they speak in terms such as "dominates", "rules", "owns", "powns", "rocks" and other bon mots. How can we say one guitarist is the best? How can you say your car is better than mine? Does you car get you to work better than mine? Not unless you include irrelevant things such as "class", "style" or "awesomeness". In fact, I could make a case for my car in concrete terms over subjective things as mine gets better mileage and costs half as much. But I know there is no "best" car just as I know there is no best meatloaf, best font, best Lithuanian Post-Bop Fusion group or even best unguent. Lord, it baffles me when people ask my favorite group, song, color, ice cream, bible verse, author, TV show or food. Am I so bereft of valuable qualities such as intellect, compassion, experience, humor, insight, humanity or critical thinking that I am judged or related to via my favorite breakfast cereal character? I am known for replying with such questions as, "What is your favorite prime number?" "Who is your favorite serial killer?" "What is your favorite canned ham?" Etc. It draws stares from the clueless but the wry smile of understanding from the insightful.
So, as it relates to Rebooting, YES, family, I am eating the same food again today. No, co-workers, it isn't "my favorite" food. Yes, friends, I enjoy it Yes, casual acquaintance, smoothies MUST be my favorite thing ever as I've had them each day for a month! Yes, cherries are a fruit I favor. No, they are not my favorite. I don't have a favorite. No, they are not the best. There is no best. Best is a conclusion based on observable, quantifiable criteria. One can be the fastest runner in a race, thus considered "the best" in that particular race. But that same person cannot be called the best runner. They can have the best time in certain conditions, but unless all runners in history, past, present and future, in their primes, all ran on the same track at the same moment under the same conditions, there can never be a best runner. And I am WAY more apt to concede the "best runner" thing than the best guitarist. I mean, do they give freaking gold medals for guitar or something? Have I missed this in the sports section?
Deep, cleansing breath
I like the food I am eating. I'll change when I want. It has nothing to do with favorites. I just want to eat cherries and strawberries and walnuts and Brazil nuts and salad and broccoli slaw right now. Tomorrow I am thinking of some watermelon. I'll save you the trouble: No it isn't my favoritest food ever.
If it helps, I do think that Jacob is way cooler than Edward.
|I am 55% through the 60 days.|
Weight: 147.6 lbs.
|Up a bit more, as expected.|
Food: Same stuff as I've had all week.
|Harvested these this morning. Will ensaladate them.|