Saturday, August 13, 2011

August 13th, 2011 - Day 35 of 60

I spent four hours in the garden today just to get things ready for my Fall planting of beans.  The weeds were active and didn't want to go quietly.  So, between the Fall broccoli, the new Collard Greens, the attention to the Acorn Squash and the two new rows of beans, I think I've put in eight hours.  That is expensive produce.

When I came inside I was hot (although it was absolutely perfect outside), filthy, exhausted and malnourished.  I hadn't eaten in about 16 hours.  Maybe my blood sugar was low?  Maybe I was just edgy?  Maybe I have other things on my mind?  Regardless, I cut up half a watermelon and then proceeded to write for about an hour.  Some writers (I don't consider myself one of those, by the way) call it "opening a vein". I think I was opening my spleen.  I really let go.  It was probably a combination of things, but I was grumpy.  I combined my discontent over all the work it takes to grow your own food, added to how hard it is to make something of your life these days, plus the obvious Southward direction of our planet, plus the sometimes frequent food complaints one gets from these types of discussion boards and... well, I let it all go.  Now, I was nice about it.  I usually don't see any reason to be unkind.  I even told everyone how I loved them and that is why my emotions were so hight, etc.  Still, I am glad that I saved what I wrote and then went out for a few hours.  The time away did me some good.

People who read this sort of writing need to understand something:  Many writers (not all) are writing their true feelings when the pour things out in this way.  And, in my own case, I think it is true that when we write things that are encouraging, we are speaking to ourselves just as much as we are speaking to the readership-at-large.  When we chide others for things, it is because we see that weakness in ourselves. We are preaching into a mirror.

I very much want everyone to succeed with their Reboots, whatever form they take.  I want everyone to succeed so they get used to that taste in their mouths.  I want that because something like this, really, is not a simple thing.  When they see they can do this, they see they have the stuff to do other things.  Putting aside comfort and ease is an unnatural practice.  Our nation doesn't instill those qualities in our youth at quite the rate we did in the past.  We now worship at the shrine of our youth and indulge their every whim in real-time.  Not all, of course, but in a nation that caters to "pet weddings", you can see how our young Princes and Princesses are treated.  A scar is a story.  We all need them.  At this point in our civilization, we've installed bubble-wrap machines on each corner.  I read a statistic that up to 75% of American youth may be ineligible for military service based on their weight, physical fitness, health, academic standing, mental issues or other disqualifiers.  That is telling.  Then I though about my own life and what I did...  it all added up.

So, after seeing so many of you busting your asses on Reboots and then busting my ass for hours and hours just for some beans... I got edgy.  No, you didn't see it, but I apologize just the same.  It is almost like I feel protective of everyone.

I was out there watering the Broccoli seedlings today and beaming at how well they were doing.   All that work was worthwhile.  When you look in the mirror, you think the same thing about your wonderful self.  A half pound is a half pound.  A half-inch is a half-inch.  It takes water years to wear down stone, but it will wear it down.  Your labor, however difficult, is not in vain.   You are building things you don't even know right now.  This is SO much more than just losing a few pounds.  So much more.  I am proud to be in the midst of such wonderful people.

I am 55% through the 60 days.

Weight: 147.9 lbs.
Up a little bit more.

Food: Same stuff as the last few days PLUS watermelon.

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